一叶随风 倾情奉献
邻家大贱谍
我在人力资源部工作也就是所谓的"人事部" I work in Human Resources or "HR," as some people call it.
我的办公室里有一张海报上写着 And I have this poster in my office that says,
“找一个让你感到安全的地方并保持平静” Keep calm and go to your safe place.
当我感到有点压力或者是很焦虑时 Well, when I get a little stressed out or my anxiety spikes,
我会闭上眼睛想象我家所在的死胡同 I close my eyes and picture my cul-de-sac,
我漂亮的妻子凯伦以及我的两个儿子帕特里克和麦克 and my wonderful wife, Karen, and our two sons, Patrick and Mikey.
因为这儿总是让我感到很安全 Because that's the place where I know everything is always okay.
不管发生什么事 No matter what.
两 周 前
-再见了，麦克、帕特里克。-再见了，你们保重 -Bye, Mikey, Patrick. Bye, you guys. -Bye, guys.
你们一到夏令营就给我们发短信 You can text us the minute you get to camp.
-好的 Yeah, okay.
如果你们被蜱虫咬了，记得把它装进塑料袋里 And if you get any ticks,put it in the plastic baggie
记录好日期和被咬的时间，我会找人检验的 with the date and time of the bite, and I'll get them tested.
记得换袜子，你们两个？记得换袜子！ Change your socks. Okay, guys? Change your socks！
我们爱你们，爱你们！会想你们的！ We love you. We love you. We're gonna miss you！
我爱你们，玩得开心！ Love you guys! Have so much fun!
坚强些！ Be strong!
坚强些！ Be strong！
你觉得那个大巴司机清醒吗，亲爱的 Did that bus driver look sober to you, honey?
因为当我闻到他的酒气时他很诡异地望了我一下 Because he gave me a really weird look when I smelled his breath.
我认为你只是吓到他了 Well, I think you just startled him.
看，梅格在那里 Look, there's Meg.
嘿，梅格 Hey, Meg.
待 售 已售 梅格克拉夫斯顿
我卖出去了 I sold it.
真够快的！ That was so fast!
谢谢你 Thank you！
-谢谢你！
现金全款 All cash buyers.
现金全款？真够豪的！ All cash buyers? That's fancy！
是啊，最棒的是他们都没来看房 Yeah. And the best part is, they didn't even see it.
他们只是看了网上的图片 They just saw the pictures online.
我都没有见过他们，真是疯狂！ I haven't even met them in person. It's crazy！
谁会不看房就买的 Who buys a house without seeing it first?
就是啊，也许是名人？ I know. Maybe it's a celebrity, you know?
拜托，杰夫，那些人才不会搬到这里来 Come on, Jeff. No celebrity is gonna move here.
我希望他们不会在这里制造毒品 I hope it's not some kind of meth lab situation.
他来了 There he is.
抱歉，你去哪儿了？ -Sorry. -Where have you been?
金考那里人多得要死 Kinko's was bananas.
那儿总是那样 It often is.
真令人激动，新邻居，对吧 So exciting. New neighbors, right.
凯伦，我把你的名片留在了屋里 And, Karen,I left your card in the foyer.
如果他们需要装潢师的话。-谢谢你 just in case they want a decorator. -Thank you.
你跟杰夫说过 So did you tell Jeff
我关于客卫的新点子吗 about my new idea for the guest bathroom?
还没 No.
艺术家阁楼 Artist's loft.
想想布鲁克林 Think Brooklyn, okay.
裸露的青砖、看得见的管道… Exposed brick,visible plumbing. And...
和一个小便池 A urinal.
小便池 A urinal!
那是为我设计的，梅格希望我能够再站起来 That's really for me. Meg wants me standing up again.
我想我最好开始着手设计小便池了 Well, I suppose I'd better get started on the urinal.
是啊，才不是呢，你知道你接下来要干什么 Yeah, no. I know what you're getting started on.
空房子，孩子们都走了 Empty house, kids are gone.
拜托 Please！
蜜月！–好了，少儿不宜，少儿不宜 Honeymoon. -All right, keep it PG,keep it PG, guys.
我们正好要去其他地方发传单 Well, we gotta go flyer the subdivision anyway.
我们将要徘徊街头了。-是啊 We're gonna pound the pavement. -Yeah.
杰夫，你应该试试后入式。–我们会的 Jeff, you should try it hyena style. -We'll try it.
我就会发出这样的声音 That's the noise I make.
我觉得梅格的药不能停，宝贝 I think Meg has changed up her medication, honey.
那丹又是怎么回事？ What's Dan's excuse then?
他们简直就是在疯言疯语 Some of that stuff they were saying was demented.
–恶心死了 –就是 -Disgusting. -Yeah.
也许他们说得对,我不知道 But maybe they have a point. I don't know.
这里就我们两个人 Alone in the house.
很久没这样了 First time in a long time.
是啊，我们可以为所欲为了 Yeah, I mean, we can do whatever we want.
我刻录了《傲骨贤妻》 I DVR-ed the Good Wife.
好极了！我去弄爆米花 Great. I'll make popcorn.
班纳曼父子公司
-退后！–没问题 -Back it up. -you got it.
-后面还有多少空间？ -就快到了 -How much room we got? -Almost there.
嘿，伯尼 Hey, Bernie.
新邻居马上就搬过来了吧 New neighbors aren't wasting any time moving in, are they?
对啊 Nope.
你会把那儿清理干净吧，伯尼 You're gonna clean that up, right, Berno.
当然 Always do.
好了，祝你有愉快的一天 Okay, have a good one.
快，伙计们，快离开这儿 Come on, guys. Let's get outta here.
快，伙计们，快走 Come on, fellas. Let's go. Come on!
麦道威尔–波顿国际，航天与国防
嗨，杰克，早上好！ Hi, Jack. Good morning!
别让人在飞机上跟你那样打招呼，“劫机” Don't let anybody say that to you on a plane. "Hijack."
总之早上好 Good morning, anyway.
早安 Morning.
嗨，黛安娜 Hi, Diane.
杰夫，早上好 Jeff, good morning!
看到那些搬家车了吗 See those moving vans.
怎么可能看不到 Couldn't miss them.
-天啊！-那 -Gosh! -So,
–有新邻居的消息吗？ –没有 -any word on the new neighbors? -No.
–什么都没有？ –没有 -Anything? -Nothing.
我向你保证他们不会是戴夫和布里奇特那样的 Guarantee they're no Dave and Bridget.
那至少我们没有失去这个夏天 Well, at least the summer's not a total loss.
我是说我们还有啤酒节可以期待 I mean, we got Junetoberfest to look forward to.
-对！没错！–还有我们的工作 -Yes, we do. -And our jobs.
我们还有工作 Always have our jobs.
对了，楼上的工作还好吧？ By the way, how's it going upstairs?
天啊，杰夫，你知道我不能谈论楼上的工作的 Jesus, Jeff. You know I can't talk about what we do upstairs.
是，我知道，抱歉 Yeah. I know. It's all right.
对了… Hey, by the way,
如果你想一起来的话我还要去上室内跳伞课 I still have those indoor skydiving lessons if you wanna join me.
我请客 My treat.
这周忙死了，孩子的事情，不过，也许吧 This week's really hectic. Kid stuff. But, maybe.
你给我发短信或者我发 Just text me. Or I'll text you.
好吧，我们回头再聊。再见 Okay, we'll talk about it later. Have a good one.
–好。嘿，席拉，早上好 -All right. -Hey, Sheila. Good morning.
人力资源部
早安，露易丝 Morning, Louise.
早安，莎朗 Morning, Sharon.
嗨，杰夫！费什先生打过电话 Hi, Jeff. Dr. Fisher called.
是吗？他说什么？ Yeah? What did he say?
他说：“请杰夫不要再给我发关于室内跳伞的短信了” He said, "Please tell Jeff to stop texting me about indoor skydiving."
他开玩笑的，他真风趣，嘿，道格！ He's joking. He's a riot. Hey, Doug.
嘿，山杰 Hey, Sanjay.
嘿，杰夫，我能用会儿你的电脑吗 Hey, Jeff. Can I use your computer?
我得再买一些抗抑郁的药 I need to reorder my anti-depressants.
当然，我的电脑就是你的电脑 Of course. Mi computer, su computer.
他是谁，在你的后面 Where are you? Who's that?
这是杰夫 This is Jeff.
我们不能上网，因为我们的工作很重要很机密 Jeff lets me use his computer because security prohibits Internet upstairs.
杰夫有他自己的网络了 And why does Jeff have Internet?
因为杰夫干的是没用的事 Because Jeff does unimportant work.
因为是封闭的 Because it is closed.
我们会被记上一笔吗？因为我昨晚给他发邮件道歉了 Are we getting written up? 'Cause I emailed him last night
他说没事。我们现在 and apologized. He said he was fine. And we have
-既往不咎 -现在没事了 -put this behind us. -It's all fine.
如果我们不做一些训练我就是没尽到责任 I wouldn't be doing my job if we didn't go over a couple of exercises.
所以，拿起一个压力球 So, grab a stress ball.
不会吧 Really?
好了，玛格丽特要给我们展示… Okay, so, Margaret's gonna show us...
信任的意义 the meaning of trust.
-嘿，山杰？-嗯？ -Hey, Sanjay? -Yeah?
我跟你说过我之前去过的一家印度餐厅吗？ Did I tell you that I ate at a Indian restaurant the other night?
我不得不打电话去预订位子 Yeah, I had to call and make an Indian reservation.
小杨，跟奥伦说说你对他的感觉 Yang, tell Oren how he makes you feel.
你还是记我们一笔吧，那样更简单 Maybe you should just write us up. That might be easier.
我认识一个喝茶过量的印第安人，他淹死在他的茶尿中 I once knew an Indian who drank so much tea, he died in his "tea-pee."
这很好笑 That was a good one.
好了，玛格丽特，开始 Okay, Margaret. Go ahead.
布鲁克林小便池
哇！ Wow.
是的，我的确觉得你妒忌我 Yes, I do feel like you are jealous.
我每次提到引力扰动 I can sense the resentment
都能感觉到你的仇恨 every time I bring up gravitational perturbations.
听上去的确不好，那是什么，好像… Is that bad? That sounds bad. What is that? Is that like--
引力扰动？那就是个笑话 Gravitational perturbations? That's a laugh!
再说了，我的研究呢？ Plus, what about my work?
我提过一次速度矢量… I mentioned velocity vectors one time...
新邻居
一次 One time
你就想把我降到达密尔的团队 and you try to get me bumped down to Dhameer's team?
你本来应该计算数据的 You were supposed to calculate...
这都是因为我跟莎拉达好上了 This is all because I hooked up with Sharada.
慢着，你跟莎拉达甘嘉丽好上了 You what? You hooked up with Sharada Ganjali?
我要杀了你！ I'll kill you!
奥伦，这样可解决不了工作纠纷！ Oren, this is no way to settle a workplace dispute!
莎朗，叫保安！ Sharon, call security!
嗨，杰夫！ Hiya, Jeff!
凯伦！–嘿，亲爱的！ -Karen. -Hey, honey!
嘿，亲爱的 Hey, darling.
你还在监视邻居们吗 Still spying on the neighbors?
嗨，你好 Hi, there.
你好 Hello.
你一定是杰夫 You must be Jeff.
我是蒂姆，这是我妻子娜塔莉 I'm Tim. This is my wife, Natalie.
我们是琼斯夫妇！幸会，杰夫 We're the Joneses! Nice to meet you, Jeff.
幸会，我刚才说的监视是开玩笑的 Nice to meet you guys. That was a joke about spying--
那是个玩笑，我从来没监视过任何人 It's a joke. I'd never spy on anyone.
我们很喜欢幽默 We love humor.
幽默 Humor...
娜塔莉说她是一个社交网络咨询师 So, Natalie was just telling me that she's a social media consultant.
对，我还在写一个烹饪博客 Yeah. I also write a cooking blog.
我很喜欢博客 I love blogs.
我还参与帮助斯里兰卡孤儿的慈善工作 Yeah, and I work with a charity for Sri Lankan orphans.
那些都是我最大的爱好 Those are my biggest passions.
娜塔莉为人很善良 Natalie's got a big heart.
谢谢你，宝贝 Aw, thank you, baby.
耶…额 Yeah...Um
–凯伦，你怎么不说… –什么？ -Why don't you tell them about-- -What?
她也有爱好。你怎么不说说小便池的事 She has passions too. Why don't you tell them about the urinal?
不，亲爱的！ No, honey!
–那没什么 –说吧，听上去挺有意思的 -It's nothing. -No, please. It sounds interesting.
我听到你们有点口音，是从匹兹堡来的 I'm picking up a slight accent. Is that Pittsburgh, maybe?
–她是从希腊来的 –噢，天啊 -She's from Greece. -Oh, God.
不过我们在很多地方生活过 No, but we've lived all over.
现在，我们终于要安定下来了，对吧 And now, it's finally time to plant some roots. Right?
我无法形容我们能住在枫叶环街有多兴奋 I can't tell you how excited we are to be here on Maple Circle.
这里太漂亮了 Such a lovely street.
的确 It really is.
–谢谢 –我们很喜欢这里 -Thank you. -we love it.
很美妙，在其他地方，他们都没有这样的 It's fascinating. In other cultures, they don't have anything like this.
的确没有 No, they don't.
比如说，中国人 In Chinese, for example.
他们都没有一个词来形容这样的地方 They don't even have a word for a street like this.
啥？死胡同？ What? For cul-de-sac?
对，他们会说… No. No. I mean, they would say...
这太意境化了 Which is, loosely
“心里和脑里快乐的地方”–对 happy place of heart and mind. -Right.
–但那没有完全表达出来，–对吧 But it doesn't really capture the essence of it, right?
但从你嘴里说出来就很酷 But it's cool coming out of your mouth.
蒂姆是个旅行作家。–真的 -Tim's a travel writer. -Really?
–哇！我们很喜欢旅行。–真的 -Wow!We love to travel. -we do.
没错，去年夏天我们去了迪士尼未来世界，对吧？对 Yeah. We went to Epcot Center last summer, was it? Yeah.
你不用走三个街口就能去到每个国家了 You can go to every country, like, within three blocks.
完美！我们就爱那一点 Perfect. That's what we like about it.
我们跟儿子们一起去的 We went with the boys over there.
帕特里克斜站着 That's Patrick and Mikey. Patrick's leaning
麦克靠着轮子蹲在那儿 against the wheel. He's just a real cuddler.
–他们真帅 –真可爱 -They're beautiful. -Adorable.
这是麦克做的 Mikey made this.
–噢，哇！ –太有天赋了！ -Wow! -What a talent!
说到这儿，给你们带来了… –对 –没错！ -Speaking of which, we brought you... -Yes, yes.
…一个小礼物 ...a little something.
什么？ What?
–太棒了！真的？ –开玩笑吧！ -That's amazing! Really? -Give me a break!
我自己做的 I made it myself.
你自己做的？ You made it yourself?
哇！看看 Wow. Look at this.
–这是什么？–什么来着 -What is this? -What is that?
一个雕塑 A sculpture.
蒂姆自己吹制玻璃 Tim blows his own glass.
对着光看看，宝贝，这… Look at it in the light, honey. It sort of--
–太美了！看看。 –好绚丽 -That's gorgeous. Look at that. -Gorgeous.
–你做的？ –对 -You made that? -Yeah,
那是我在匈牙利学到的一个爱好 it's a hobby I picked up in Hungary.
我写过一篇讲一个匈牙利玻璃吹制大师乔吉的文章 I wrote an article about this Hungarian glass-blowing master, Yorgi.
谢谢，我都不知道说什么好。–你什么都不需要说 -Thank you. I don't know what to say. -You don't need to say anything.
放在那里，用作茶余饭后的话题就好了 Just put it right there and use it as a conversation piece.
–真酷，太感谢你了！ –谢谢 -That's cool. Thank you very much! -Thank you.
–我们该走了 –是啊，该走了 -Anyway, we should get going. -Yeah.
好吧 -Yeah. we should. -Okay.
我觉得我该送你们一样礼物 I feel like I should give you guys a gift.
我不知道你们要送礼 I didn't know we were giving gifts.
–没有必要 –你想要一个压力球吗 -That's not necessary. -You want a stress ball?
不，你不会想要压力球的，我说什么呢 No, you don't want a stress ball. That would be stupid.
我很想要一个压力球 I'd love a stress ball.
–谢谢 –对！真的有效 -Thank you. -Yes!They really work.
谢谢 Thank you.
我来收拾一下吧。–不，杰夫会收拾的 -Let me just get this out of your way. -No, Jeff will get that.
–不、不 –太客气了 -No, no, no. -That's nice.
没关系，我们现在是邻居了 It's all good. We're neighbors now.
对吧？ All right.
你们去过或者听说过啤酒节吗 Have you guys ever been to or heard of Junetoberfest?
–啤酒节？ –对 -Junetoberfest? -Yeah.
你们真的应该来 You guys should really come.
那是我们的年度夏季聚会 It's our annual summer get-together.
所有邻居都会来，很好玩的一群人 The whole neighborhood comes. A really fun group.
我们很多人都在同一个地方上班 A lot of us work together.
在MBI？ At MBI?
对，我们有个飞镖锦标赛、德国香肠派对 Yeah. We have a dart tournament. We have bratwurst.
我自己酿啤酒，那是我的爱好 I make my own home brew, which is my passion.
很好！ Good!
你怎么知道杰夫在MBI How'd you know that Jeff works at MBI?
杰夫一定提起过，对吧，杰夫 Jeff must've mentioned it. Right, Jeff?
–不，他没有 –没关系，亲爱的 -No. No, he didn't. -That's okay, honey--
没有，杰夫没有提过 No, Jeff didn't mention it.
–压力球 –侥幸猜中，我想 -The stress ball. -Must've been a lucky guess, I guess.
–上面写着的 –随便猜的，我们该走了 -No, it's right there. -Lucky guess. Yeah, we should go.
有点晚了。感谢你们的款待 It's getting late. Thank you so much for everything.
咖啡太美味了 The coffee was delicious.
–谢谢。–我们在…啤酒节上见 -Thank you. -And we'll see you at Junetoberfest!
啤酒节 年度啤酒“杰夫玛丽酒”
我给你看张照片，这是泰勒 So, let me show you a picture. This is Tyler.
他今年暑假要去哮喘夏令营 And Tyler's gonna go to asthma camp this summer.
天啊！他好帅！ Oh, my God! He's so handsome!
杰夫玛丽啤酒
–嗨，邻居。–嗨 -Hiya, neighbor. -Hey.
“柠檬皮姜屑 Seared yellowtail
香煎黄狮鱼” 这是谁做的？ with lemon zest and ginger shavings.Who the hell made this?
娜塔莉，显然，她无所不能 Natalie. Apparently, she can do everything.
对不起，谁会穿成那样来烧烤呢 I'm sorry, but who wears that to a barbecue?
我是说，这里有孩子 I mean, there are kids here.
拜托，梅格，那只是一条裙子 Come on, Meg. It's just a summer dress.
那是一条非常短、非常时尚…极度诱惑的裙子 It's a very short, very chic, extremely flattering summer dress.
是啊，够暴露的 Yeah, well, it's pornographic.
看看丹，假装在查邮件 Look at Dan pretending to check his email.
如果我发现他手机上有她屁股的照片…他就别想我给他口了 If I find pictures of her ass on his phone, BJ night is canceled.
说回我… So, anyway, there I am,
孤身陷于鲁卜哈利沙漠之中… alone, in the middle of the Empty Quarter, all by myself,
没有水，就要渴死 with no water, dying of thirst. I'm literally
我已经在给娜塔莉写遗书了 writing a goodbye letter to Natalie.
我看到地平线上出现了什么 And what do I see coming up over the horizon?
一头骆驼… But the exact same camel...
三年前我救过它 whose life I saved three years earlier.
–同一头 –它记得你吗 Exact same one. -Did he remember you?
不，杰夫，它不记得我，它是一头骆驼 No. No, Jeff. He didn't remember me. He's a camel.
但我能骑着它回到文明世界 But I was able to ride him into civilization.
然后我在截稿前15分钟提交了我的文章，谢天谢地 And I filed my story, with 15 minutes to spare, thank you very much.
还赶上了下一班去马拉喀什的航班… Caught the next flight to Marrakesh
当晚跟娜塔莉在一家咖啡厅坐着抽水烟 and was sitting in a caf¨| with Natalie smoking hookah later that night.
我想在马拉喀什抽水烟 -No way! -I wanna smoke a hookah in Marrakesh.
斯塔茜，我知道那听上去很浪漫 Well, Stacey, I know it sounds very romantic.
但相信我，世界上有些地方非常黑暗和令人不安 But, trust me, the world can be a very dark and disturbing place.
蒂姆，你想来瓶啤酒吗？ Tim, you want a beer?
好啊！谢谢你 Sure. Yeah. Thank you.
–给 –好 -Here you go. -there it is.
伙计！哇！ Wow, good job-- Buddy, buddy. Yeah, buddy. Wow!
–好多血 –没事的 -That is a lot of blood. -It's fine. It's okay.
不，别动 Hold on, hold on, hold on.
只出了一点血 It's just gushing a bit.
–你别动 -just hold on to that. -yes.
–对 –给我 Give me this.
一下子有了条口子 -It's sprung a leak. -Just...
–我有点头晕 –握紧拳头 -I feel a little bit light-headed. -Close your hand around it.
–如果我可以… –不！不！不！ -If I could just maybe-- -No!
你们影响不了我 You can't rattle me.
–见证奇迹发生的时刻 –不中！不中！ Witness... Witness my destiny.
社区冠军，五连冠！ Neighborhood champ, five years in a row!
嘿！你想试试吗 Hey! You wanna give it a try?
–我？ –是啊！ -Me? -Yeah!
不了 No,
–扔飞镖… –不能说“不” -I'll only embarrass myself. -"No" is not an answer.
来吧，很容易的 Come on. It's so easy.
–这是个坏主意 -It's a bad idea. -Look,
我来教你著名的克拉夫斯顿手法，好吗 I'll even show you the famous Craverston grip, okay?
–好吧。把它放在手里 -All right. -put That in your hand.
像握铅笔那样 Now hold it like a pencil.
倾斜手腕 Now cock your wrist.
–很好， –好，打开手肘 -right. -Good, good. Elbow out.
然后扔就好了 And then you just kinda throw at it.
像这样？ Like this?
这样对吗？ This is good?
你扔的动作有点娘 Well, you kinda throw like a girl.
不过你这样的美女，扔得好不好都没关系 But when a girl is as beautiful as you she doesn't have to be good.
我不用克拉夫斯顿手法的话，可以吗？ Do you mind if I skip the Craverston grip?
好啊，祝你好运 Okay, good luck.
噢，天啊！看看！ Oh, my God! Look at that!
也许我该教你怎样扔得娘一点 Maybe I should show you how to throw like a girl.
被戏弄了吧，克拉夫斯顿！ Suck on that, Craverston.
闭嘴，奥伦 Shut up, Oren.
你的女朋友在哪里 Where's your girlfriend?
蒂姆 Tim.
嘿，凯伦，我在找洗手间 Hey, Karen. I was just looking for the bathroom.
那是杰夫的办公室 You were in Jeff's den.
对，我一定是走错了 Yeah. I must've made a wrong turn.
对了，你们家真漂亮，你真有眼光 Lovely place you have here, by the way. You have a great eye.
谢谢！ Thank you.
楼下的设计是你的作品 Was that your design work I saw downstairs?
杰夫提起过小便池什么的 Jeff had mentioned something about urinals.
噢，对，客户是上帝 Yes. Well, the customer's always right.
是啊，那些是我画的 But, yeah, they are my drawings.
客户就是上帝，除了他们不对的时候 Customer's always right. Except when they're not.
–洗手间在那边，蒂姆。–不了，谢谢，我没事了 -The bathroom's that way, Tim. -No, thank you, I'm fine.
这是我们有过的最棒的 That was one of the best Junetoberfests
一次啤酒节 we have ever, ever had.
从来没见过像琼斯这样优雅的夫妇 Have you ever seen a couple move into a neighborhood
搬来这个地方 so nicely as the Joneses?
你不觉得他们有点诡异吗 You don't you think there's something off about them?
他们的事业太过成功，他们太有范 I mean, they're so overly
而且彼此之间太恩爱 accomplished, and stylish and affectionate with one another.
他们为什么想住在这里 Why would they wanna live here?
凯伦，他们说了，他们想要安定下来 Karen, they told you, they wanna settle down.
你知道他今天进了你的办公室吗 You know that he was in your den today?
是嘛，那又怎样 Yeah, so?
他能穿梭于马拉喀什的集市间 So, he can navigate the bazaars of Marrakesh,
可他竟然因为找厕所而在楼上迷了路 but he gets "lost upstairs" looking for a bathroom?
凯伦，我多年前就知道 Karen, let me tell you something I learned years ago.
一个想要大便的人是会尴尬的 When people have to poop, they get embarrassed.
我有时也会 As do I, sometimes.
真的？你认为他是想要大便 Really? You think he had to poop?
有可能，是啊！ Probably, yes.
如果琼斯夫妇看起来比我们更恩爱… You know, if the Joneses seem a little bit more affectionate than we do,
那是因为他们没有因为孩子在… it's because they haven't had to mute their passions the way we have
而抑制了自己的激情 'cause the kids have been around.
可现在是属于我们的时间，我们的夏天，小心我的手 But now, it's our time. It's our summer. Watch my hand there.
我觉得我们是时候做点床上工作了 And I think it's time to get busy sexually.
–不 –嘟、嘟，痒死了，亲爱的！ No. It tickles, honey. Honey!
咱们要疯狂做爱，来吧！ -Honey, I know we said every second... -Come on!
看看时间，很晚了 Look at the time. Look how late it is.
这是经典的加弗内式前戏，让我来吧 It's traditional Gaffney foreplay. Let me just do it.
来吧，宝贝，来吧 Come on, baby. Come on.
我累坏了，不过我善于观察 I'm so tired. But I pick up on things.
是我发现麦纳尔迪 I was the one who noticed when the McNultys
偷山本家的有线电视信号的 were pirating the Yamamotos' cable.
没错，直觉是件美妙的事 Yes, and intuition is a wonderful thing.
相信我，作为有着16年 And take it from me, somebody who has had 16 years
人力资源工作经验的人 of human resource experience,
我相信琼斯夫妇是善良、正常而且普通的人 that the Joneses are perfectly nice, normal, everyday people.
我束手无策 I didn't know what to do.
车冒烟了，我想着美国人 Smoke blows from the car, you know? So I figured
都很懂车… 你好强壮！ Americans are really good with car... You strong man!
你们能帮我吗 So you can help me out?
当然，你找对人了 Absolutely. You came to the right guys.
我们美国人懂很多东西的 We Americans are good at a lot of things.
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你要什么啤酒？
周日
杰夫 Jeff.
杰夫，醒醒！ Jeff, wake up.
旅行+ 蒂姆琼斯 2014年7月11日 哈希姆咖啡馆 “地球上最浪漫的地方” 蒂姆琼斯的马拉喀什 休闲
哈希姆咖啡馆
你是谁，蒂姆琼斯？ Who are you, Tim Jones?
你要什么啤酒？
抱歉 Sorry.
邻居！ Neighbor!
–嘿，杰夫 –噢，天啊 -Hey, Jeff. this-- -Oh, my goodness.
这真是丢人 This is embarrassing.
没什么，我来帮你 Well, it happens. Jeepers, let me help you.
–来 –谢了 -Here you go. -Thanks.
你在这里干什么 What are you doing here?
我发现你对自制啤酒的爱感染我了 I found your love of home brewing contagious.
我想我也可以把它当作一个爱好 And I figured I could use a hobby.
而不是吹制玻璃 Instead of glass blowing?
除了吹制玻璃以外 Right. Besides that. Besides that.
这是个很酷的爱好，但看上去可能不那么有男子气概 It's a cool hobby, but it's probably not as manly as you'd like.
嘿，艾德，帮我朋友准备一下 Hey, Ed. Set my friend up here.
他需要麦芽汁冷却器，也许还要一些碳化液 He's gonna need some wort chillers, probably need some fizz drops.
–给他一点酵母 –你是专家 -Give him some yeast. -You're the expert.
–别让酵母感染了 –好 -Yup. -Don't let that yeast get infected.
我开玩笑的 -Okay. -I'm kidding.
酵母菌感染的笑话 It's a joke. It's a yeast infection joke.
–昂贵的爱好啊。 –这更是一种呼唤，蒂姆 -Expensive hobby. -It's more of a calling, Tim.
–嘿，你饿不饿？–我饿死了！ -Hey, are you hungry? -I'm famished.
–你喜欢中式吗？–食物 -you like Chinese? -the food?
是啊 Yeah.
娜塔莉琼斯
娜塔莉烹饪
拜托 Come on!
拯救斯里兰卡的孤儿们
想看看洗手间的草图 我过来了
监视模式启动 Spy force on.
我留下这条留言，以防我发生不测 I am leaving this message in case anything happens to me.
我在跟踪娜塔莉琼斯，我有很好的理由相信… I'm following Natalie Jones who I have good reason to believe--
–呼叫娜塔莉琼斯。–不！ -Calling Natalie Jones. -No!
不、不、不 No! No, no, no!
Siri！ Siri!
谢谢 Thank you.
再见 Have a nice day.
这本书怎么样？ How's the book?
有意思 Interesting.
嗨！很高兴见到你们，真的 Hi, there! Nice to see you. Yes, indeed.
那位是我的朋友杰夫，这是陆先生和陆太太 That's is my friend, Jeff. This is Mr. and Mrs. Lu. Okay.
好了，我们会回来的 All right, we're gonna go on back.
我知道！我感觉我已经肥了不少 I know! I feel like I've been putting on a little too much.
谢谢。到后面来，杰夫，谢谢 Thank you. Come on back here, Jeff. Thank you.
我在写一篇文章，关于城中不为人知的好地方 I'm doing a little piece on, sort of, hidden gems around the city.
–那个地方不错 –是啊 -Now, That place is good... -Yeah?
但这个地方超棒，跟我来 but this place is great. Come on, follow me.
时不时换换环境挺好的 It's good to get out of the cul-de-sac every now and again.
没错 Well, it is, yeah.
–我很喜欢我的社区。–他在那里！ -I love my cul-de-sac. -there he is.
我就知道你在，伙计 I knew I felt your presence, man!
–你好吗，兄弟？ –你好吗，伙计 -What's up, brother? -How are you, pal?
这是我的朋友杰夫 This is my friend, Jeff.
杰夫，这是里奇。这里是他开的 Jeff, this is Ricky. He owns the place.
–里奇，你好吗？–你好吗，杰夫？ -Hi, Ricky, how are you? -What's up, Jeff?
你用不着鞠躬，别害羞 You don't have to bow down. Don't be shy.
来，伙计，这位老兄很紧张！ Come on in, man. This guy's stiff!
欢迎光临眼镜蛇俱乐部 Welcome to the Cobra Club.
杰夫是第一次来，所以… Well, now, this is Jeff's first time. So...
别担心，我们会照顾好他的，伙计 Don't worry. We'll take good care of him, man.
我们坐哪里好？ Where do you want us?
–就那里吧，伙计。–谢谢，我想来一杯蛇酒 -Right there, man. -Thank you. I'll take a shejiu.
–一杯？ –对 -One? -Yup.
–两杯 –两杯？ -Yeah. Two. -Two?
–对，他喝啥我就喝啥。–两杯蛇酒，马上就来 -Whatever he's having. -Two shejiu's coming up.
跟你预料的有点不一样吧 So? A little different than you were expecting?
我得说，我不太能吃辣 I gotta tell you. Spice and I don't sit very well together.
吃辣后的第二天，我上厕所会有点反应 There's certain ramifications the next day, you know, toilet-wise, but--
不是那样的，好吗 This is not that.
好。不辣，却是正宗的中餐 Okay? It's not spicy, but this is the real stuff.
我准备好了 I'm ready.
事实上，这里让我想起我在珠江上 Actually, it reminds me of when I went kayaking
划皮艇顺流而下去中山 down the Pearl River to Zhongshan.
美极了，很多地方 It's just beautiful. A lot of places,
就像这里 just like this.
你的工作很棒 You have a fascinating job.
–拜托，杰夫，你的也是 –是啊 -Come on. So do you, Jeff. -yes.
我确信你可以分享一些经历 I'm sure you could tell me some stories.
是啊，有些经历会让你毛骨悚然 I could tell you some stories to make your skin crawl.
不过我在人事部上班 But I'm in HR.
有些东西是保密的 There's a certain wall of secrecy around me, so...
你可以告诉我，不过你得杀了我 You could tell me, but you'd have to kill me.
杀人的话我可能会惹上官司 I'd probably just get in trouble from corporate.
你不会真的杀了我，那只是句玩笑 You wouldn't actually kill me. It's just an expression.
哦，对，对，对 Yeah! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
–酒来了。–好 -Here we go. All right. -Okay.
看看这些异国调料 Look at all these little ethnic condiments.
–真酷。–那是… -So cool. -That is...
–酱油。–酱油 -Soy sauce. -Soy sauce.
试试吧 Try this.
好的 Okay.
哇！好棒！ Wow! That's good!
那是什么？看上去像是一条蛇 What is that? That looks like a snake.
蛇酒嘛，伙计 shejiu, man.
蛇酒 Snake wine.
那是真正的眼镜蛇 That's real cobra.
酒精把大部分蛇毒都中和了 The alcohol neutralizes most of the venom.
在广东，老人们说… Yeah, in Guangdong, the old dudes say
喝蛇酒，延年益寿 you drink snake wine, makes your sack hang real low, man.
是吗？ Does it?
你这里有柠檬冰茶吗 Do you have a Arnold Palmer by chance?
你们想听听今晚的菜单吗 You guys want to hear about tonight's offering?
好，看看有些什么，谢谢 Yes. Show us what you got. Thank you.
你在哪里找到这个地方的？点评网站 Where did you find this place? Yelp?
我的工作就是找这样的地方 It's my job to find places like this.
我跟人交谈，到处走。我找到这样的地方后 I talk to people, I go places. And when I find a place that I like,
我喜欢跟我喜欢的人分享 I like to share it with people I like.
蛇酒！好吧，那是条活蛇！ shejiu! Okay, that's a live snake!
是的，杰夫，这可是间蛇餐厅 Yes, Jeff. It's a snake restaurant.
对，不过熊猫快餐也没有供应熊猫啊 Yeah, but Panda Express, they don't serve panda.
难道有？ Do they?
他们把这叫做“百步蝰蛇” They call this "the 100-pace viper,"
因为一旦被它咬，你就只能走一百步 because if it bites you, that's how far you're gonna get, man.
–真的吗？ –不是！ -Is that true? -No!
不是真的 It's not true.
其实，你可能只能走50步吧 It's probably closer to 50 paces,
它的毒性很强，很惨的，伙计 -honestly. It's very potent. -Pretty bad, man.
我怕蛇，我会吃它们，抱歉 I'm afraid of snakes. I'll eat 'em. But, I'm so sorry.
里奇知道该怎么做，他很专业的 Ricky knows what he's doing. He's very good at his job.
来，坐下，好吗？让他去准备就好 Come on, sit down, okay? Just let him do his thing.
–好吧。–你会被照顾好的 -Yes. -You're in good hands.
–好。–相信我 -yes. -Okay? Trust me.
你的手要远离蛇头… You're gonna wanna keep your hands away from the head,
因为它还可能咬你，你得非常小心 'cause it can actually still bite you. So, just be very careful.
我能来个素春卷吗 Can I have a vegetable spring roll?
伙计… Buddy...
你会没事的，来 You're gonna be just fine. Here.
–再来一点 –好 -a little more of that. -Yeah.
–好吗？–这很不错 -Yeah. -Okay? this is good.
–我们可能得再来一瓶。–对 -we might need another bottle of this. -Yeah.
我们好好放松一下 Let's go ahead and get loosened up.
–对，好好喝 –对 -Yeah. Snake it up. -Yeah.
等一下，是凯伦打来的。喂 One second. That's Karen. Hello?
记得我跟你说过琼斯夫妇有点不对劲吗？ Remember I told you something was off about the Joneses?
我的直觉是对的 Well, my instincts were right.
我刚才跟着娜塔莉到了商场，我得对你说四个字 I just followed Natalie to the mall and I have two words for you.
莎拉佩林 Sarah Palin.
你猜怎么着 And guess what?
中文里是有“死胡同”的，是… There is a Chinese word for cul-de-sac. It's...
抱歉，我听不清 I'm sorry, I'm having a hard time hearing you.
重点是，琼斯夫妇不是他们说的那样 The point is, the Joneses are not who they say they are.
好吧，等等，抱歉 Okay. Hold on. I'm sorry.
凯伦，我正在跟蒂姆吃午餐 Karen, I'm actually, lunching with Tim right now.
这里没什么不对劲的 There's nothing weird going on whatsoever. I think...
我觉得那都是因为你对孩子们的担心 I think you're just sublimating your anxiety about the kids.
你对你的职业缺乏安全感… You're having insecurities about, you know, your career--
别跟我来这一套！ Don't even begin to go there!
你有男神，我都没指责你 I don't throw your man crush in your face.
我没有男神！我没有男神 I don't have a man crush! I don't have a man crush.
我很小的时候曾经有过一个 I had it once in my life, when I was a boy.
–你是说布鲁斯？–她喜欢别人叫她凯特琳 -you mean Bruce? -She likes to be called Caitlyn.
不，你绝对是对的 No, no, no, you're absolutely right.
–你好，凯伦 –娜塔莉！ -Hello, Karen. -Natalie!
真是个惊喜！ What a surprise!
你没穿外衣，你在打电话 You've got no clothes on. You're on the phone.
我走了 I'm gonna go.
回头再说 To be continued.
我只是在给蒂姆录语音留言 I was just leaving Tim a voice mail.
他喜欢听我试内衣 He likes to hear from me when I'm trying on lingerie.
我告诉他我在试穿什么，看起来如何 I tell him what I'm putting on, how it looks.
我的感觉如何 How it makes me feel.
看上去美极了！我确信他会很高兴地知道 It looks great! I'm sure he... I'm sure he's happy to know that.
跟他说是我说的 Tell him from me.
是啊，我们就喜欢这样，保持激情 Yeah, it's one of our things. Keeps the spark alive.
你和杰夫有什么特别方式吗 Do you and Jeff have a thing?
有，我们有特别的方式 Yes, Jeff and I have a thing.
我们… We...
我们很快地做完，以免孩子们冲进房间 We do it really fast in case the kids come running into our room.
听上去你们很性感 Sounds like you're very sexual people.
–不过你们的孩子出门了，对吧？–对啊 -But your kids are gone, aren't they? -Yeah. Yeah.
是时候试试新花样了，所以你才来买内衣的吧 Time for something new. Is that why you're buying lingerie?
是啊 Yes.
看看你都选了什么 Let's see what you decided on.
不要，我是说…没什么特别的 No. I mean, I just-- It's just stuff.
来吧，给我看看你心目中的性感 Come on. Show me what you think is sexy.
这些是买给杰夫妈妈的 They're for Jeff's mom.
她非常肥，她去哪里都骑着小摩托车 She's morbidly obese. She drives around on a scooter.
我觉得非常糟糕… I feel really bad for...
我们坦诚点好吗？ Let's be real with one another, okay?
他在跟那个叫什么席拉朗道斯基的偷偷地约会， And he's dating Sheila Rondowski, I think is her name, on the sly,
那是被禁止的，因为她是他的上司 which is a big no-no, 'cause she's his superior.
当然 Sure.
这太好吃了，蒂姆，真美味 This stuff is so good, Tim. It's delicious.
我不是告诉你了吗 Didn't I tell you?
我跟你说…听着，有人跟你敞开心声时会让你大开眼界 I tell ya... Listen. It is impressive how people open up to you.
–他们会跟你说很多东西 –没错 -They tell you a lot. -They do.
听上去像抱怨，不过… It sounds like they complain a lot, but...
天啊！这涉及到工作问题，我没意见，不过，你说得对 Gosh! It comes with the territory. I'm fine with it. But, yes.
让我问问你 Let me ask you this.
是否有人私底下跟你说过 Does anybody ever say to you in confidence
他们恨公司 how much they hate the company?
里奇，再来些酒 Ricky, let's get some more wine!
心怀怨恨什么的 Hold a grudge? Anything like that?
莎拉帕特尔，她有肠道易激综合症 Sara Patel, she has irritable bowel syndro--
稍等，她有肠道易激综合症 Excuse me. She has irritable bowel syndrome.
同时还有很多同事坐在洗手间里 There's a lot of co-workers, too, that sit near the bathroom.
有时候，莎拉，我们都被你的大肠所激躁 Sometimes, we're all irritated by your bowels, Sara.
四楼的人都知道 Everybody on the fourth floor knows.
好的，但那不是我想说的 But that's not what I'm talking about.
是否有人突然 Is there ever a situation where somebody seems
得到了一大笔钱 like they came into a lot of money,
或者买了新车或者新衣服什么的 or they, you know, they bought a new car or new clothes?
–就像赢了彩票似的？–有 -Looks like They won the lottery? -yes.
–或捞了一笔？ –有 -Or hit the jackpot? -Yeah.
–是吗？谁？–山杰，他买了一个烤架机器人 -Yeah? Who's that? -Sanjay. He bought a Grillbot.
那是什么？ What's that?
我的一个同事，叫山杰 That's the guy I work with. His name's Sanjay.
不，我知道山杰，烤架机器人是什么 No, I know what Sanjay is. What's a Grillbot?
烤架机器人就像…就是… Grillbot is like-- It's just a...
能清洁烤架的机器人 It's just a-- What it is, is a robot that cleans your barbecue grill.
把它放进烧烤架，关上盖子… You just put it in your grill, you shut the lid,
它就会把细小的炭块和恶心的东西清理掉 and it just kind of ruminates in there and gets all the little coal pieces,
让烧烤架光洁如新 the little icky pieces up. And it's, you know, spick and span!
它就像烧烤架版的扫地机器人 It's like a Roomba for your grill.
我本来想的是…更贵的东西 I'm thinking more of like the-- Like, like... More expensive.
要99美金呢，蒂姆，很贵的 These are $99, Tim. Expensive stuff.
没错 Right.
可你得把烧烤架关掉，山杰就没关 But you gotta make sure the grill's off. Sanjay didn't do that.
我们讨论完烤架机器人了吗 Are we done talking about the Grillbot?
如果你不吃的话，给我吃吧 If you're not gonna eat this, I'm gonna eat this.
请便，随便拿 No, no, no, go ahead. Take what you like.
关键是， The thing is,
他那样做让机器人和烧烤炉的保修都失效了 is he voided the warranty on the Grillbot and the grill.
天啊，杰夫！里奇！ Jesus, Jeff! Ricky!
噢，天啊！放下、放下！里奇！ Oh, God! Put it down. Ricky!
天啊，我从来没见过这样的 Man! I've never seen that before.
快去找 Go find the shot!
抗蛇毒血清！快！ The antivenom. Go get it!
嘿，小伙计！ Hey, little buddy!
噢，天啊！不、不、不、不、不，嘿 Oh, my God. No, no, no, no. No, no. Hey.
它在吃我的手 He's snacking on my hand.
看着我！ Look at me!
好，拿开！ All right. Get it out!
我们要发展一段关系 We're all gonna have to have a relationship.
别动，我们给你打抗蛇毒血清，保持住 Hold on. We're gonna get the antivenom okay, Jeff? Hold on a second.
抓稳了？好了，别动！ You got it? All right. Hold on, hold on.
你感觉怎么样了，伙计 How does that feel, buddy? How does that feel?
感觉很好 That's good.
你穿这个会很美 Now this would be incredible on you.
好，就买它 Perfect, I'll take it.
你有点无趣啊，凯伦 You're not being fun, Karen.
现在，我要你忘记任何关于胸部支撑的理念 I want you to forget everything you heard about functional breast support.
为什么这么紧张 Why are you so nervous?
因为我们两个女人在一起试内衣 Is it because we're two women trying on lingerie together?
或是因为我知道你今天在跟踪我 Or because I know you were following me today?
我没有在跟踪，什么，不！ I wasn't following. What? No! No!
我在商场购物，我想知道这件有没有黄色的 I was at the mall. I was shopping. I wonder if they have this in yellow.
–杰夫最喜欢黄色 –我不蠢，凯伦 -Jeff's favorite color is yellow. -I'm not stupid, Karen.
你跟踪没有错 You're right to follow me.
你认为我真人并不是假装的这样 To be thinking that this woman is not who she pretends to be.
因为我有所隐瞒 Because I'm hiding something.
是吗 You are?
你也是 So are you.
我们很像，你和我 We're so alike, you and I.
两个强壮的、性欲旺盛的女人，然而我们 Two strong, sexually vibrant women. And yet, here we are.
因为这个世界上的梅格克拉夫斯顿夫妇而不得不掩藏自我 Forced to bury our true selves from the Meg Craverstons of the world.
梅格跟这有什么关系？ What's Meg got to do with this?
拜托，凯伦 Come on, Karen.
她以为我没注意，可我听到她怎么说我了 I hear the way she talks about me when she thinks I'm not looking.
因为我的外表而恨我… Hating me for the way I look,
就好像我的完美身材和肌肤有错似的！ as if perfect bone structure and flawless skin is something I can help!
也许我不需要用润肤品，可我也有感觉 I may not need to moisturize, but I still have feelings.
我不知道你也有感觉 I didn't know about the feelings.
所以我们这样的女人需要团结起来 That's why women like us need to stick together.
而不是在商场里彼此跟踪 Not follow each other in malls.
你做凯格尔运动吗？ Do you Kegel?
凯格尔运动 Kegel?
你是指锻炼阴道 You mean the exercises for the lady parts?
那是力量之源 Strength has to start somewhere.
我没做过 Not-- I don't.
事实上，我现在就在做 In fact, I'm doing some right now.
如果需要的话，我能用下面夹碎一个核桃 I could crack a walnut down there, if I needed to.
你有那种需要 Have you ever had any need to?
到你了 Now you go.
–我的下面什么也夹不碎。–我们还在隐藏？ -I couldn't crack anything down there. -Are we still hiding?
来，凯伦。释放你的力量 Come on, Karen. Just... channel your power.
好吧，我试试 Okay. I'll do it. I'll try.
我做到了！我感觉到了 I did it! I felt it!
怎么样？ How was that?
有进步！ Work in progress.
现在，你有个选择 Now, you have a choice.
你想做怎样的凯伦 Which Karen do you wanna be?
弱小的凯伦 Karen, the meek?
还是强壮的凯伦 Or Karen, the strong?
–你确定没事？ –我没事 -Sure you're okay? -I'm okay. Yeah.
你救了我一命 You saved my life.
那蛇餐真美味 And that was some good snake.
我够窘的 I'm embarrassed though.
有点醉 Little drunk.
你让我吓了一跳 You had me worried there for a second.
你去洗一下，我去付账 Get yourself cleaned up. I'll get the check.
你知道你在做什么，蒂姆 I know what you're doing, Tim.
我在做什么，杰夫？ What am I doing, Jeff?
我的工作就是看穿人 I read people for a living. That's what I do.
你用蛇酒把我灌醉… And, you know, you get me drunk on snake wine
让我打开心声，告诉你秘密 and get me to open up and tell you secrets.
你… You...
想要交朋友 are trying to make a friend.
我有很多朋友，杰夫 I got a lot of friends, Jeff.
没错，可你有很多秘密 Yeah, but you have a lot of secrets locked inside of you.
我想你可能是我见过的最孤独的人 I think that's why you might be one of the loneliest guys I've ever met.
你有什么好说？ Now, what do you have to say about that?
你想知道我的秘密？ You wanna know something about me?
有时我痛恨我的工作 Sometimes I hate what I do for a living.
那样感觉很好吧 But doesn't that feel good?
说出心里话 To express yourself?
–这是我们在建立信任关系。–不，我们在聊天 -is this us bonding now? -No, this is us talking.
你想建立信任关系？我可以带你去 You want bonding? I'll show you bonding.
你要看着我，我来帮你戴好头盔 You're gonna look at me. I'm gonna button you up.
好，好，够响的 Okay. Okay. That's loud.
天啊，你觉得这样很好玩 Jesus, you do this for fun?
有我呢，好吗 I got you, okay?
不好玩吗 Isn't this a blast?
好玩！ Yeah!
–嘿，凯伦！–嘿，我在这里！ -Hey, Karen! Karen? -Hey, I'm here!
嗨，凯伦，你好吗？我给你带了一束花 Hi, Karen. How are you? I brought you some flowers.
谢谢你，亲爱的！ Thank you, honey!
你不会相信我今天是怎么过的 You're not gonna believe the day that I had.
猜猜谁跟我一样喜欢跳伞 Guess who likes being a man-bird as much as I do?
–谁？ –蒂姆琼斯 -Who? -Tim Jones.
看看，你怎么穿着睡袍？你病了吗 Look at that. Why are you wearing a robe? Are you sick?
没有，亲爱的 Nice. Honey,
我在想，我这个夏天到底做了什么 I'm just thinking. What am I really doing this summer?
我把孩子送去了夏令营，我在重新设计洗手间 I mean, I sent the kids away to camp, I'm redesigning bathrooms.
这些事让我快乐吗 Is that what makes me happy?
这些事让我、凯伦加弗内满足吗 Is that what makes me, Karen Gaffney, complete?
好吧，听着，如果你想获得满足… Okay, well, listen, if you wanna feel complete,
我在公司跟同事做的一些练习… there's some exercises I do at work with the guys...
宝贝，不，那些没用的 Honey, no. They don't work.
我已经跟真正的凯伦失去了联系 Now, I've lost touch with the real Karen.
然后那两个美妙的新邻居搬了过来 And then these amazing new neighbors move in
那让我感觉很弱小，所以自然地… and with me feeling so vulnerable, it's only natural
我会起疑心，在他们身上挑错 that I would get suspicious and find fault with them.
可真的，我只是觉得我该把注意力放在自己身上 But really, I just feel like I should be focusing on me.
放在我们身上 And on us.
乖乖，怎么了 Sweet baby Jesus, what's happening?
娜塔莉说我们需要特别的方式来保持激情 Natalie said we needed a thing to keep our spark alive.
你跟娜塔莉说起我们的性生活 You've been talking to Natalie about us sexually?
当然没有，我什么都没告诉她，亲爱的 No, obviously. I didn't tell her anything, honey.
不，我只是说她的直觉超强 No, I just mean she's unusually intuitive.
–对希腊人来说。–对 -For a Greek. -right.
她认为结了婚的人 And she just thinks that once you're married
到了某个阶段，你得更加努力 at a certain point, you have to make more of an effort.
我就爱这样的凯伦，真的 This is the Karen that I-- This is the Karen that I love.
来吧，亲爱的 I really do. Take me.
宝贝儿，来 Take me, darling.
好 Okay.
糟糕，亲爱的 Shoot, honey.
话题之作被打坏了 It was the conversation piece.
别担心 Don't worry about it.
这是什么 What is that?
我不知道，这没关系，来吧 I don't know. It doesn't matter. Come on.
没事的，没关系的 It's okay. It doesn't matter.
你知道吗，宝贝？我们该接着做爱 You know what, honey? We need to go back to our lovemaking.
–我们刚做到哪里了？ –对啊 -Where were we? -Yeah, Okay.
–好火热！ –好啊，我该爱抚你吗？ -It's so hot! It's so hot! -Yeah. Okay, I-- Should I grope you?
–好极了！ –没错 -Great! -Yeah.
我们继续，杰夫！ Let's go back. Jeff, Jeff!
窃听器
–好热啊！–你病了 -It's so hot! -So, you are sick?
我告诉你我们该怎么做 You know what? I'll tell you what we should do.
我们该为我们的激情来点伴奏 We should put on a soundtrack for our passion.
你想来点激情音乐，我想贾德挺合适的 You want a little passion music? This calls for The Judds.
–我们来放点音乐 –好 -We're gonna put on some music. -Okay.
我把酒杯放进洗碗机 I'm going to put the wine glasses in the dishwasher.
好，对了，你想边做边讲！ Right. Okay, so you got-- You wanna narrate!
好，我懂了 Okay. All right. I got you. So...
然后…这真好玩！ And then... This is so much fun!
血从杰夫的头部 The blood leaves Jeff's head
慢慢地往下移到了身体中部 and slowly makes its way to his midsection.
我不知道我们为什么要在衣橱里 I don't know why we're in the closet.
宝贝，听着！这看起来很不色情 -It seems very un-erotic to me. -Honey, listen!
因为我们的邻居在窃听我们！ Listen! Because our neighbors bugged us!
我说了他们不太对劲 Told you something was wrong with them.
蒂姆窥探你的办公室的事现在就解释得通了 Makes a little more sense what Tim was doing in your den.
别说什么他要大便 And do not tell me that he had to poop.
他不是要上二号 He did not have to go number two.
现在我知道娜塔莉在咖啡厅干什么了 And now I know what Natalie was doing at the caf¨|.
那是一次交货！ It was a drop!
交货？你说什么呢？ A drop? What are you talking about?
她竟然骗我买了这内衣 I can't believe she duped me into this lingerie.
不过她和我当时都穿着内衣 But she was in her underwear and I was in my underwear and--
噢，天啊！她太有说服力了 Oh, my God! She was so persuasive.
慢着，你们穿着内衣在一起？ Wait. You were both in your underwear at the same time?
别想下流的！那是个骗局！ Get your mind out of the gutter! It was a charade!
凯伦，我只想确认这不是你偏执发作 Okay, Karen, I just wanna make sure this isn't another case of paranoia.
还记得你让我睡车里那次，就因为我吃了辣椒 Remember the time you made me sleep in the car 'cause I ate that hot pepper
而你认为我鬼上身？ and you thought I was possessed?
亲爱的，你双眼通红还想在孩子第二天有课的晚上做爱 Your eyes were all red. You were trying to have sex on a school night.
我知道，我觉得那只是“摸洗哥辣椒” I know, but it was just the jalapeeno. That's my point.
天啊！我们得叫警察 God! We gotta call the cops!
叫来警察跟他们说什么？邻居窃听我们？ Call the cops and tell them what? Our neighbors bugged the house?
–对！ –那听上去很离谱 -Yes! -That sounds crazy!
我们真的需要警察时怎么办？ What happens when we really need the cops?
他们就不会来了，为什么？ They won't come to our house. Why?
因为我们上了黑名单，那是疯狂的行为 Because we're on some kind of crazy list. That's crazy.
你说得对，我们需要更多证据 You're right. We need more evidence.
–还有，是“墨西哥辣椒”–凯伦！ -And it's a jalape?o. -Karen. Karen!
凯伦！ Karen!
凯伦，看 Kar-- Karen, look.
我知道你想念儿子们… I know that you miss Mikey and Patrick,
可父母周末夜两周后才开始 but parents weekend is not for two weeks.
蹲下！ Get down!
父母周末夜两周后才开始 Parents weekend isn't for two weeks.
也许我们可以做些呼吸练习来帮你冷静一下 Maybe we can do some breathing exercises to center you.
杰夫，我不需要做深呼吸练习！我很冷静！ Jeff, I don't need to do any deep breathing exercises! I'm centered!
他们那边很静， It's quiet over there.
不正常的静 It's too quiet.
他们也许正在监视我们监视他们 They're probably watching us, watching them.
他们没在监视我们！他们正在餐厅里跟斯塔茜钟一起 They're not watching us! They're at a restaurant with Stacey Chung.
你怎么知道的？ How do you know that?
因为我们今天在室内跳伞时聊起过！ Because we talked about it at the indoor skydiving place!
你怎么不告诉我？ Why didn't you tell me?
凯伦，站住！ Karen, stop!
亲爱的，站住，拜托！想想你在干什么 Darling, stop, please! Think about what you're doing.
你会被抓进监狱的 You'll go to jail for something like this.
除非我被抓 Only if I get caught.
看？没有指纹 See? No fingerprints.
搬进新家的人都会换锁 Now, people move in, they always change the locks,
但他们从不换车库遥控 but they never change the garage remote.
布里奇特和戴夫去默特尔海滩 I forgot to give it back when Bridget and Dave went to Myrtle Beach
叫我帮忙喂狗那次我忘了还遥控 and asked me to feed Smokey.
你来不来？你得遮住你的手 Are you coming? You're gonna need to cover your hands.
遮住手？用什么 Cover my hands? With what?
用你的袜子 Use your socks.
噢，天啊！这里就像样板房！ Oh, God! It looks like a show home.
–他们盖掉了布里奇特的壁画。–那真是个悲剧 -They painted over Bridget's mural. -That's a real tragedy.
听着，这里没什么不对劲的，我们快走！ Look, there's nothing weird here. Let's go, let's go!
凯伦，这里到处都有窗户，蹲下！ Karen! There are windows everywhere. Get down! Get down!
真诡异 So weird.
站起来！ Stand up!
这些锅从来没用过 These pots have never seen a lick of flame.
对于一个有烹饪博客的人来说，说不过去 Little weird for someone with a cooking blog?
这是新房子，那些是新锅，我觉得没问题 Well, it's a new house, new pots. It makes sense to me.
调料架上是空的，她用惊艳的开胃菜招待过邻居们 And an empty spice rack. She wows the neighbors with her appetizers.
没有调料 No spices.
不要根据一个空的架子来评判一个女人 Never judge a woman by her spice rack, Karen.
看看关于斯里兰卡孤儿的东西 Check for stuff about Sri Lankan orphans.
我打赌那也是一个谎言！ I bet that's another web of lies!
蒂姆，抱歉私自闯入你的家 Sorry, Tim, for breaking into your house.
我只是想做你的朋友 I just wanted to be your friend.
而这当然不是友善的举动 This certainly isn't a friendly gesture.
你知道吗，亲爱的？我能听到你 You know what, honey? I can hear you.
你这么不配合，真是伤我的心 And it hurts my feelings when you're not supportive.
凯伦，这太荒谬了 Karen, this is ridiculous!
一定在某处的 It's gotta be here somewhere.
凯伦！凯伦！凯伦！凯伦！ Karen! Karen, Karen, Karen!
看看他们，如此完美 Look at them. So perfect.
凯伦，快，我们走 Karen, come on, let's go.
看看这里 Look at this.
好吧，他们是游戏玩家，我们走 Okay. So, they're gamers. Let's go.
凯伦！不要！你在干什么？ Karen! Don't! What are you doing?
斯塔茜钟，是她在跟琼斯夫妇吃饭吧？ Stacey Chung. Isn't she out with the Joneses?
对 Yeah.
泰德沃勒斯 Ted Wallace.
他是你同事，对吧？ He works with you, right?
对啊，也许这只是社交网络什么的 Yeah. Maybe it's just some kind of social media thing.
达密尔穆斯塔法？ Dhameer Mustafa?
还有丹 There's Dan.
山杰 Sanjay.
噢，天啊！他们的目标是MBI Oh, God! They're targeting MBI.
这里有些导弹 There's some kind of missile.
这些是他问过我的所有人 These are all the people he was asking me about.
噢，天啊！我什么都跟他说了 Oh, my God! I told him everything.
我们得走了 -Oh, God. -We've gotta go.
把电脑关掉，亲爱的 Switch down the computer, honey.
我们得马上离开这里 We gotta get out of here.
我手上套着袜子什么都操作不了 I can't get any purchase on the mouse because I have a sock hand.
–好，等等 –关掉！恢复到之前德画面 -Okay, hold on. -Switch it off!Put it back.
凯伦…恢复到-- -Karen... -Put it back the--
不！你不懂！他们是间谍 No! You don't understand! They're spies.
–凯伦，拜托！–我们得马上走 -Karen, please, okay? Just shh! -We gotta go right now!
我需要把这些名字记下来 I need to write these names down.
你在干什么？我们得走了 What are you doing? We gotta go!
他们有可能随时回来 They could be back at any second.
你在看什么 What are you staring at?
那是什么？一支笔 What is that? A pen?
什么 What?
–什么？ –你的… -What? -you have a...
噢，天啊！噢，天啊！凯伦！ Oh, God! Oh, my God! Now what?
噢，见鬼！我杀了她！ Oh, shit, I killed her.
凯伦！ Karen!
噢，谢天谢地！ Thank God!
亲爱的 Honey.
好了，我们得走了，凯伦，醒醒！ Okay, we gotta go. Karen, wake up!
噢，天啊 Oh, God.
见鬼！噢，该死！ Okay. Okay. Damn!
抱歉、抱歉 Sorry. Sorry.
–不客气，宝贝。–好吧 -You're welcome, baby. -Okay.
–杰夫，你真帅！–凯伦，嘘！ -You're so cute! -Karen, shh!
好吧，好吧 Okay. Okay.
你嘘我干什么？ Why are you shushing me? They haven't any dogs.
我以为Chili's餐厅会很优雅的呢 I thought Chili's was supposed to be fancy.
我觉得你没点对菜 Yeah, I don't think you ordered well.
记得我们在大学里… Remember when we were in college,
你的父母差点在树丛里抓到我们，我们藏起来了！ and your parents, they almost caught us in the bushes, and we hid!
对啊 Yeah.
慢着，我大学后才遇见你的 Wait, I met you after college.
噢，天啊！ Oh, my God!
那就像是我们的新婚夜 It's almost like our wedding night.
为什么那样做？我们在干什么 Why did we do that? What are we doing?
我们该怎么办？ What do we do?
杰夫，你太严肃了！ Jeff, you're being so serious!
–“我是杰夫，我很严肃” –凯伦！ -I'm Jeff. I'm so serious. -Karen, Karen, Karen!
–你为什么这么严肃？ –好了，嘘 -Why are you being So serious? -Okay.
–别舔我！ –好 -Stop licking me! -Yeah.
好了，听着，噢，见鬼！ Okay, listen. Oh, shit!
噢，见鬼 Shit.
我要用女上位！ -I'm getting on top! -I--
我在上面了！ I'm getting on top.
–凯伦！凯伦！凯伦！–我在上面了 -Karen! Karen! Karen! -I'm on top!
这让我很不舒服，凯伦，别这样 That makes me feel weird. Karen, please.
我现在没心情，亲爱的 I'm not into this right now, sweetheart.
我真的没心情 I'm not really into this.
–抱抱我！–不要！我们的邻居是间谍 -Cuddle me. -No cuddling! Our neighbors are spies!
–我们的邻居是间谍。–我要抱抱，抱抱我 -our neighbors are spies. -I wanna cuddle. Cuddle me.
看看他们 Look at them up there.
也许会上楼做爱，甚至都不会想到我们 Probably going upstairs to make sex, and they won't even think about us.
你伤了我的心，蒂姆琼斯 You broke my heart, Tim Jones.
你伤了我的心 You broke my heart.
我只是说那餐厅叫Chili's I'm just saying, the place is called Chili's.
–所以那是墨西哥餐厅 –我不敢相信 -It's a Mexican place. -I can't believe...
–我不懂你为什么 –我们还在谈论那家餐厅 -I don't know why you would... -...we're still talking about that.
会点亚洲菜 ...order anything remotely Asian.
好吧，我想我们可以排除斯塔茜了 Okay. I guess we can cross off Stacey.
她什么都不会告诉我们 She's not going to give us anything.
嘿，知道烤架机器人是什么吗？ Hey, do you know what a Grillbot is?
什么？ What?
是那天杰夫告诉我的东西 It's this thing. Jeff was telling me about it the other day.
能清理烤架的小机器人 It's this little robot that cleans your barbecue--
我希望这不会成为问题 I hope this is not going to be a problem.
什么？ What?
我们这一行的第一条守则，别跟目标产生感情，记得吗 First rule of what we do. Don't get too close to your targets. Remember?
实际上 Actually...
我们这一行的第一条守则，就是别爱上你的搭档 the first rule of what we do, is to not fall in love with your partner.
对吧？那不是第一条守则吗 Right? Wasn't that the first rule?
蒂姆琼斯 Tim Jones.
我该拿你怎么办 What am I going to do with you?
我不知道 I don't know.
–你不知道？ –我不知道 -You don't know? -I don't know.
–我有一些想法 –我也有 -I have a few ideas. -I have some ideas too.
是吗 You do?
–我该开始了吗？ –没错，你应该 -should I start now? -Yes, you should.
好，好 Okay. Okay.
额，有麻烦了 Well, that might be a problem.
嘿，伙计，我能用你的电脑吗？ Hey, buddy. Can I use your computer?
我得查看我的梦幻棒球球员的情况 I need to check my fantasy baseball roster.
请便，用吧 Go ahead. Go ahead.
谢了 Thanks.
怎么回事？ What is happening?
你没事吧，杰夫？你好像有些心不在焉 You okay, Jeff? You seem kind of distant.
不，我没事 No, I'm fine. I'm just...
只是我所有的价值观都被粉碎了 sifting through the wreckage of every value I once held dear.
噢，还好，我还以为有什么大不了的呢 Good. I was worried it might be something real.
嘿，丹 Hey, Dan.
丹！ Dan!
琼斯夫妇并不是他们自称的那种人 The Joneses aren't who they say they are.
你说什么？ What are you talking about?
你的电话 Your phone.
好了 Okay. Okay.
琼斯夫妇是间谍 The Joneses are spies.
间谍 Spies?
对！他们在我们家装了窃听器 Yes! They planted a bug in our house.
我不敢相信我让蒂姆给“骈”了 I can't believe I let Tim diaper me
“骗”了 dupe me
你告诉别人了吗 Have you told anyone?
我要去见保安部的卡尔普龙格 I'm meeting with Carl Pronger in Security
不过不是那样，我发誓 But it's not like that, I swear!
她有时会有些直觉，而且这次她是对的 Sometimes she picks up on things. This time she was right.
你得把这件事报上去，卡尔！ You have to take this upstairs, Carl!
这家公司、我的邻里… This company, my neighborhood,
我们所知的西方社会全都危在旦夕 Western civilization as we know it, they're all at risk.
而且也许是我的错 And it might be my fault.
好了，加弗内，我会去调查的 All right, Gaffney. I'll do some digging.
好了，谢谢你 Okay. Thank you.
关于这些装置，看看我能查出些什么 See what I can learn about these devices.
如果它们是真的间谍装置而不是什么玩具 And if I find out they're real, and not from some hobby shop,
–你等我的电话 –好 -well, you wait For my call. -Okay.
我是杰夫 Go for Jeff.
我得说，加弗内，你和你妻子是对的 I gotta say, Gaffney, you and your wife were right.
你知道你给我的那些装置吗，我跟我的一个朋友通过话 You know those devices you gave me? I was talking to a friend of mine.
前军事设备 Ex-military.
这条线不安全，所以我不能细讲 And well, this line is unsecured, so I can't go into details,
我只能说这东西是真家伙！ but let me just say, this stuff is the real shit!
天啊！好吧。琼斯夫妇为谁卖命？是俄罗斯人吗 God! Okay. Who are the Joneses working for? Are they Russian?
见鬼，加弗内 Damn it, Gaffney.
我说了“不安全”，你不明白吗 What is it about the word "unsecured" that you don't get?
听着，我要再调查一番 Look, I'm gonna do some more digging,
然后你跟我明天上班前见个面 and then you meet with me before work tomorrow.
好 Okay.
你知道公司在75号公路上那栋旧楼吗 You know the old MBI building? On 75?
早上七点，在一辆厢型车那里 7:00 a.m. Just look for the van.
慢着，我们为什么要在那里见 Why are we meeting there?
为了在上报前讨论战略！ Well, so we can strategize before we take it upstairs!
我朋友说他上次看见这种科技 My buddy says the last time he saw tech like that
还是在一个死人身上 was on a dead man.
死人？你为什么要… Dead man? Why would you say--
天啊！ Jesus!
你说得没错 Jesus is right.
加弗内，这可是大事！我们要查到底 Gaffney, this is the big time! I mean, we are going all the way.
–先不说了，卡尔。–你别想抛开我 -Not now, Carl. Not now. -Don't try to give me the brush off.
如果你以为你能自己解决 If you think you're gonna handle this yourself...
–好的 ，好的。–你就大错特错了！ -Okay, okay. -...you're making a big mistake!
–我的同事。–加弗内，别搞砸了！ -Work buddy. -Gaffney, don't mess this up!
–卡尔！ –好的。–早上七点，带上拿铁 -Carl! Okay, yeah. Good. -7:00 a.m. Bring lattes...
你没事吧，伙计？你差点撞上我 You okay there, buddy? You almost ran me over.
是啊，我在找伯尼，他在我院子里拉屎 Yeah, I was looking for Bernie. He keeps pooping
我…我是说，他的狗 in my yard and I was just-- I mean, his dogs keep
在我的院子里拉屎。我分心了 pooping in my yard. I was distracted.
你好吗 How are you?
你的举动有点古怪，杰夫 You don't seem like yourself, Jeff.
你的举动有点古怪，蒂姆 You don't seem like yourself, Tim.
什么意思 What's that supposed to mean?
我…你先说的，我…你说的时候是什么意思？ I was... You said it to me. I was... What did you mean when you said it?
昨晚有人偷闯进我们家了 We think we had a break-in last night.
–什么？ –是啊，很离谱 -What? -Yeah. I know. really rocks your
那让人失去信任感，对吧 faith in the notion of trust, doesn't it?
当然了，天啊！ Tell me about it. My gosh!
本来以为这个社区 You'd think in a neighborhood like this
根本不用担心这样的问题 you wouldn't have to worry about something like that.
我很抱歉，蒂姆 I'm so sorry about that, Tim.
是啊，杰夫，信任就是这样 Yeah, well, Jeff, here's the thing about trust.
一旦失去了就会有坏事发生 Once it's gone, bad things happen.
我明白 I heard that.
好了，我该走了 Okay, well, I should go.
凯伦和我该去泡个澡 Karen and I are supposed to take a bath.
一个小警告，卡尔可能脾气不太好 Yeah, a little warning. Carl can be a bit prickly,
可他是顶尖的保安人员而且他喜欢 but he's a top notch security man and he happens to like the way
–你的想法，好吗？ –好的 -your mind thinks, Okay? -Okay.
那是他穿着浴袍晾衣服吗 Is that him in the bathrobe hanging laundry?
我不知道，也许他在搞庭院销售 I don't know. Maybe he's having a yard sale.
加弗内，准时驾到！ Gaffney, right on time!
你带了拿铁，我就知道你靠得住 And you brought the lattes. Knew I could count on you.
这是我妻子，卡尔。我是说，卡尔，这是我妻子 This is my wife Carl. I mean, this is my wife, Carl.
幸会 Nice to meet you.
–幸会 –凯伦加弗内 -Nice to meet you. -Karen Gaffney.
欢迎来到我家外的家 Yeah, well, welcome to my home away from home.
或者说更准确点，我的家 Or to be more accurate, my home.
很快就不是了。拿来吧，谢谢 But not for long. Here, please. Thank you.
请坐 Sit down here.
我把东西清理一下 Let me just clear this stuff away.
把衣物拿开 Get this laundry outta here.
今天女佣不在 It's the maid's day off.
没关系，只是你 Not at all. It's just that
说我们在厢型车处见面 when you told us to meet you at the van,
我没想到你就住在这里 I didn't realize you'd be living in it.
是啊，其实 Yeah, well, the truth is...
自从我妻子带着一切离开我以后 you know, I've been living in the old Westfalia here
我就住在这辆威斯法利里了 ever since my wife left me and took everything I had.
–抱歉，卡尔 –太糟了 -Sorry, Carl. -That's terrible.
感谢杰夫给我带来这个情报，杰夫 And now thanks to you for bringing me in on this deal, Jeff.
我想我终于时来运转了 I think things are finally starting to break my way again!
你有什么情报 What do you have for us?
天啊，我这里有什么？让我给你们看看 Oh, boy, what have I got? Let me show you here.
这绝对是杰夫没有想到的，加弗内 You know, here's something that Jeff never thought he'd hear. Gaffney...
你准备好听四级安全情报了吗 are you ready for a level four security clearance?
–好 –好。我们开始了 -Okay. -Okay. Here we go.
–卡尔 –嗯 -Carl. -Yeah?
你的前额上有个红点 You got like a red dot on your forehead.
哦，这叫成人痤疮，非常感… It's called adult acne. Thank you very mu--
天啊！ God!
我被打中了！ I've been hit!
我被打中了！我被打中了！ I've been hit! I've been hit!
噢，天啊，见鬼。 Oh, my God! Shit.
–你受伤了吗？ –我被击中了！ -Are you hurt? -I've been shot!
噢，天啊！不，亲爱的，那只是拿铁 God! No, honey, it's just the latte!
烫死了！烫死了！ It burns! It burns!
噢，见鬼！是琼斯夫妇 Oh, shit! It's the Joneses!
不要射到他们 Try not to shoot them.
快到卡尔的房子里去 Let's run for Carl's house.
噢，天啊 Oh, God!
上车！快！ Get in the car! Now!
放过我们的小命吧 Let us get on with our stupid little lives!
快上车，我会解释一切的。大部分。 Get in the car now and I will explain everything. Mostly.
我厌倦了你花巧的谎言，琼斯！ I'm tired of your silver-tongued lies, Jones!
你们不要命了吗？快上车！ Do you wanna get killed out here? Get in the car!
为什么？好让你们在车里杀死我们？ Why? So you could kill us in there?
你的调料架上都没有调料的 There were no spices in your spice rack!
我说了上车 I said get in the car.
我们会上车的 We're gonna get in the car.
为了我们的两个儿子，对吧，亲爱的 For Patrick and Mikey. Right, honey?
伙计们，快！这很危险，快！ Guys, now. It is very dangerous. Now!
我数到三，我们就跑，好吗 When I count to three we're gonna run, okay?
一…二… One... Two...
杰夫 Jeff!
–噢，天啊！ –我说数到三的 -Oh, my God! -I said three!
杰夫，请你上车好吗 Jeff, please, would you just get in the car?
我只想抢先跑 I was making a head start!
抢你老婆的先 On your wife?
你们现在的行为像孩子一样 You two are acting like children right now.
赶紧上车，就现在，快上车 Now, get in the car. Right now. Get in this car.
系好安全带，真是的 Put your seat belt on, for Christ's sake.
–天啊，我在系安全带 –快！ -Oh, my God. -Come on!
–快！ –快走！快走！ -Go, go, go. -Let's go, let's go.
到底怎么回事，蒂姆 What is going on here, Tim?
你想从MBI偷情报吗？ Are you stealing secrets from MBI?
我们没有偷你们的情报 We're not stealing secrets from you.
–他们在那里 –我看到了 -there They are. -I see them.
我们是间谍 We're spies.
他的安全带卡住了！停车 His seat belt is jammed! Pull over.
闭嘴，杰夫晕车了 -Shut up! -Jeff gets car sick in the back!
–安静！ –闭嘴！ -Quiet! -Shut up!
你们悄悄溜进我们的房子 You broke into our house.
你们算是什么邻居 What kind of neighbors are you?
你们窃听了我们的家，你们又算是什么邻居 You planted a bug in our house. What kind of neighbors are you?
他们好像有点道理 You know, they kind of have a point.
这里好热 It's so hot in here.
–把空调打开，求你了！ –不 -Put the AC on. Please! -No.
求你打开空调好吗 Can you turn the air conditioner on, please?
–没门！–热死了 -It's not going on! -It's hot.
我的安全带没系好！等等！ My seat belt's not on! Wait!
诡异的事情要发生了 Okay, it's about to get weird.
这还不够吗？ About to get weird?
一个简单问题，你们是好人还是坏人？ Quick question. Are you guys the good guys or bad guys?
你觉得呢 What do you think?
–我认为坐在… –见鬼！ -I think the guys in black... -Shit!
摩托车上朝我们开枪的可能是坏人 ...on the motorcycles shooting at us might be the bad guys.
低头，低头 Get down, get down, get down!
什么来着 What is that?
是夏令营 It's camp.
什么 What?
嘿，宝贝，你好吗 Hey, sweetie. How are you?
–是的，饼干是给你们两个的 –凯伦 -The cookies are for both of you. -Karen!
麦克，如果你分饼的话，他就可以先选 Mikey, if you split it, he gets to choose first.
–凯伦！ –因为那样才公平！ -Karen! -Because that's fair!
低头！低头！凯伦，别打电话了！ Get down! Get down Karen, get off the phone!
不然的话你会分得一块大一块小 Because otherwise you would make one piece bigger.
然后你会选大的那块，让麦克… And then you'd pick that one. Put Mikey on, put--
随便分就好了！随便分就好了！ Just split the cookie! Just split the cookie!
噢，糟糕！ Oh, shit!
右边，娜塔莉 To the right, Natalie.
谢了，凯伦 Thanks, Karen.
刹车！ Brake!
噢，天啊！ Oh, my God!
好吧，好吧 Okay. Okay. Okay.
不要挡着我 Please get out of the way.
不要挡着我，不然我看不见 Please get out of the way so I can see.
车后面有个东西在闪，那是坏事吗 There's something blinking on the back of the car. Is that bad?
是的，杰夫，那绝对是坏事 Yes, Jeff, that is decidedly bad.
你得爬出去把它弄掉 You need to go out there and take that off.
–我得把它弄掉？ –对！ -Wha... I need to take it off? -Yes!
–你能慢一点吗？ –不能！ -Well, can you slow down? -No!
–我在开车，后有追兵。–弄掉它！ -I'm driving. We're being chased. -Get it off!
我没法慢点开，他们要杀我们！ I'm not gonna slow down. They're trying to kill us!
是啊，你连空调都不肯打开 Right. Coming from the guy who wouldn't turn on the air conditioner.
开慢一点！ Slow down a little bit.
我都湿了！我都湿了！ I'm getting wet! I'm getting wet!
湿了总比中枪好！ Getting wet is better than getting shot!
好烫！ It's hot!
三个目标，两颗子弹，你行吗 Three targets, two shots. You got this?
从来都行 Always.
你怎么样了，杰夫？我们需要你，伙计 How you doing back there, Jeff? We need you, buddy.
等等 Wait.
–好了。 –等等 -Okay. -Wait.
现在 Now.
我拿到了！我拿到了！现在怎么做？ I got it! I got it! Now what?
抓稳了，杰夫！ Hold on, Jeff!
扔掉！扔掉！ Throw it! Throw it!
这是五？你认为呢？我觉得我卡住了 Five here? So, what do you think? I think I'm stuck.
我认为一、二、三、四、五…这个应该是六 Yeah. Well, I think one, two, three, four, five... It's gotta be six.
早餐来了，大伙 Here we go, folks.
–炒蛋加面包 –谢谢 -Scrambled whites with toast. -Thank you.
–三份鸡蛋卷加土豆 –谢谢！ -Three-egg omelet with potatoes. -Thank you!
鸡蛋、土豆和培根，再加一份培根 Eggs, potatoes, and bacon. And a side of bacon.
–喵喵喵喵！ –非常感谢 -Yum, yum, yum, yum! -Thank you very much.
噢，天啊！ Oh, my goodness!
怎么了？高速追车让我饿了，亲爱的 What? High speed car chases make me hungry, honey.
好了，琼斯夫妇，如果你们真的是琼斯夫妇的话 Okay, Mr. and Mrs. Jones, if that's who, you know, you really are.
我想问几个问题 I have a couple of questions. And...
我想这次我们理应知道真相 I think this time we kind of deserve the truth.
这是应该的 You're entitled to it.
好了，第一个问题 Okay, question number one.
你们是中情局的 Are you in the CIA?
宝贝，你白问了，他们不可能回答的 Honey, that's a wasted question. They can't answer that.
第二个问题，你们在追谁 Question number two then. Who are you after?
我们不能告诉你 We can't tell you.
好吧，第三个问题，那是我们认识的人吗 Okay. Question number three. Is it somebody we know?
也不能说 Can't say that, either.
你刚说我们理应知道真相 You just said we were entitled to the truth.
没错，但不表示我们能告诉你们 Did say you were entitled to it. Doesn't mean we can give it to you.
亲爱的，你懂 You know what, honey?
那些可能是机密所以他们不能告诉我们 It's probably classified. That's why they can't tell us.
–你想来点吗？ –好，我来点土豆 -Do you want any of this? -Yeah. I'll have some potatoes.
我很高兴大家能够 I'm glad everybody's just
享受早餐，不过我们仍… enjoying their meal while we're in the middle
处于危险中 of a... Like, a thing!
你们只顾若无其事地吃 You guys are just eating like there's nothing going on.
我受不了了 I'm a little troubled by it!
亲爱的！你这样不对 Honey! That is not okay.
好吧，我继续问，问到不是机密为止 Fine. I'll keep asking 'til I get something that's not classified.
没问题吧 Is that fine with you?
好 Okay.
第17个问题 Question 17.
枪战过后，谁会去清理所有的子弹 After a shootout like that, who cleans up all the bullets?
你们到底能说些什么 Okay, can you guys tell us anything at all?
我不是希腊人，我是以色列人 I'm not Greek. I'm Israeli.
前摩萨德 Ex-Mossad?
不能告诉你们 Can't tell you.
拜托，你们结婚没有 Come on. Are you guys even married?
至少这个你们能说吧 Can you even tell us that?
对，结婚是假装不了的 Yes. That actually you can't fake.
就这样？其他的一切都是谎言 But that's it? Everything else was a lie?
因为当你跟我说你恨你的工作时 I mean, 'cause I think when you told me that you hated your job,
很真实，从我做人事的经验看 that seemed real. I mean, from an HR perspective.
那看上去很真实 That seemed real.
你跟他说你恨你的工作 You told him you hate your job?
我可能在私底下，跟他提到过我的疑虑 I may have mentioned certain misgivings, in confidence.
有意思 Interesting.
为什么现在才说 Why is this coming out now?
因为杰夫其实是很好的倾听者 Because Jeff is actually a good listener.
其实我在马拉喀什跟你提过的 And I did mention that to you before, in Marrakesh.
就在我们总去的那个哈希姆咖啡馆 At that place that we always go to. Hazim's.
那天我们聊了一下午 That day, we spent the whole afternoon there.
我们谈到了可能不做这工作 We talked about maybe getting out of this. We talked about
我可能真的成为一个旅行作家 I could actually become a travel writer, for real.
我们甚至可能生个孩子 We could maybe have a child.
那只是假设，不是生活计划 That was hypothetical. It wasn't a life plan.
我不那么认为 I didn't think it--
好了，你就是这样，一吵架就 Okay, this is what we do. Automatically, we go to Hebrew
自动转到希伯来语，欺负我不会讲 and then it's gonna be a whole thing.
谁会在一个玻璃雕塑里放窃听器 And who puts a bug in a glass sculpture?
我喜欢我的玻璃雕塑，我喜欢跟人分享 I happen to like my glass sculptures and I like to share them with people.
这是合法的，送人礼物也是恰当的 It's a legitimate thing. It's actually appropriate
有什么是不合适的 to give somebody a gift. What isn't appropriate,
你在一个庭院派对穿的衣服 however, is what you happened to wear at the yard party.
现在你想我穿得比较中性点 Now you want me to dress like some kind of a sexless
–中学护士 –拜托，我不是在想… -elementary school nurse... -Come on. I'm not talking...
好跟其他母亲合群 ...just to fit in with the other mothers, right?
–无意冒犯，凯伦 –你看起来很美 -No offense, Karen. -You look great!
你看起来很惊艳，可你得合群！ You look amazing. But you have to fit in.
我是说我们是卧底 I mean, it's called being undercover.
你在喀布尔穿着罩袍也没问题 I mean, you had no problem wearing a burqa in Kabul.
可这里是郊区 But this is the suburbs!
你不懂这里很难生活吗？这里的女人很不友善 It's hard. Don't you get it? Women here are vicious.
我能说一句吗？你根本不懂这里的女人 Can I say? You don't know the women here.
你看 There you go.
我们毫不知情 We don't know anything.
你们为什么窃听我们的房子 Why did you bug our house?
事实上，你们一无所知 Actually, you know less than nothing.
可情报机构收到可靠线报 But the agency received credible intel
有人用你的工作电脑 that someone was using your work computer to commit treason
做背叛美国的事情 against the United States of America.
我们在利用你们来找出幕后黑手 We were using you to get to whoever they are.
你干脆什么都说了吧 Why not tell him everything?
谁在乎呢 Who cares?
10年，30个国家，没人识穿我们 Ten years, 30 countries, nobody finds us out,
可我们在郊区一个星期就曝光了 and we couldn't even last a week in suburbia!
结帐 Can I pay, please?
没完没了，我们现在怎么办 Stupid question. What do we do now?
是啊，现在怎么办 Yeah, what do we do now?
继续平时的生活 Just stick to your routine.
不能让其他人发现，好吗 And nobody finds out about any of this, okay?
我不会告诉任何人 I won't tell anybody.
对，什么都别说 Yeah, keep it quiet.
我还想问一件事 There's this other thing I needed to ask.
我知道你们是卧底，这一切都是安排好的 I know you guys are undercover and this whole thing is a setup, but...
不过那天在眼镜蛇俱乐部 The other day at the Cobra Club,
那是为了灌醉我好让我背叛同事 was that about getting me drunk and having me betray my co-workers
还是两个人，也许会开始一段友谊？ or was that about two guys, you know, maybe starting a friendship?
那是我想灌醉你让你背叛同事 It was about getting you drunk and betraying your co-workers.
噢，好吧 Okay. Yeah.
不过室内跳伞 But the indoor skydiving...
是朋友间的事 that was about being friends.
我就说我们建立信任了 See, I told you we bonded.
好了，记住，不能让任何人知道 Okay. Remember, nobody finds out about this.
–连我妈都不会说 –严守秘密。嘿 -No. I won't even tell my mom. -Locking it up. Hey, hey.
还有一件事，我知道我不是有职业治疗师 One other thing. I know I'm not a licensed therapist, okay?
不过你们应该好好聊聊，好吗 But talk, communicate with one another, okay?
沟通对于杰夫来说很重要 Jeff is big on communication.
我的工作就是沟通 I communicate. That's what I do.
–当然 –多聊聊 -you Sure do. -Talk, Talk, talk.
不，不，不，你完全正确，杰夫 No, no, no, no, no. You're absolutely right, Jeff.
沟通是很重要的 Communication is a great thing.
–好了，回头见 –拜！ -All right, I'll see you. -Bye!
–谢了！ –我该走了 -Thanks! -I should go.
–保重 –再见 -Okay. take care. -see you.
宝贝，你那样跟他们说真是好心 That's so nice of you to tell them that, honey. Really.
我认为琼斯夫妇会没事的 I think the Joneses are going to be just fine.
是啊 Yeah.
–你先请，亲爱的 –谢谢 -After you, my dear. -Thank you.
蒂姆 Timmy!
很可能就是煤气泄漏 Well, it was most likely just a gas leak. So...
谢谢你们的口供 Well, thank you for your statements.
–非常感谢 –晚安 -Thank you very much. -Good night.
好了 Okay.
杀死琼斯夫妇的人会来对付我们 Whoever killed the Joneses are gonna come after us next.
你觉得我们对警察撒谎没做错吧 Do you think we did the right thing by lying to the police?
我们承诺过琼斯夫妇说会保密的 We promised the Joneses that we wouldn't say anything.
那你觉得这承诺还有效吗，亲爱的 Do you think that promises count, honey,
他们可是被我们弄死了 when the people that we made them to are dead?
有效 Yes!
再说，我可不想鬼敲门 Plus, I don't wanna be haunted.
他们把栏杆拆下来了，哦，天啊 -They've taken the barricades down. -Oh, my God!
听着，我去收拾必要的东西 All right, listen, I'm gonna grab the essentials.
我们需要护照 We're gonna need our passports.
还有出生证明 We're gonna need our birth certificates.
以及一些胶带 And we'll need some duct tape.
再拿些胡椒 Get some peppercorns, too!
–麦克 –咖啡、茶、金鱼 -Mikey... -Coffee, teas, Goldfish.
我在拿洋葱 I'm gonna get these onions here.
–不要洋葱，把它们放回去。–不，不，不 -Don't take the onions, put 'em back. -No, no, no, no.
–你不需要洋葱 –我需要… -You don't need onions. -I need...
–徒步零食！ –我不会选 -Trail mix! -I can't choose.
这是两千块的拼图 This is a 2,000-piece puzzle.
–这是一个武器。–对！或者用来做帕马森烤鸡 -this is a weapon. -Yeah!Or we can make chicken parm.
–这个可以有 –你总是买这个 -it would be Nice to have-- -What!You always buy this.
你该买有机的，我跟你说过的 You should buy the organic one. I've been through this with you.
我现在不想跟你说这个 I don't wanna talk about that right now.
杰夫，别拿姜饼 Jeff, don't take the ginger snaps!
我们可能需要… I know, but we might need...
–冷静，杰夫 –好！ -Calm down, Jeff. -Okay!
我要带上红牛 I'm taking this Red Bull.
我们要去哪里 Where are we going?
不知道，随便，装东西就好 I don't know. Anywhere. Just pack!
我从来没有逃亡过 I've never been on the run before.
我要不要带上比基尼，万一去的地方很热呢 I mean, should I take a bikini, in case it's gonna get hot?
不！泳衣？带上袜子！袜子！我需要袜子 No! A bathing suit? Take socks! Socks! I need my socks.
我们得带上孩子，还有我妈！ We gotta get the kids. We gotta get my mom!
别带她！我们说好一年只见两次的 Don't bring her into this! We said twice a year.
圣诞和复活节！ Christmas and Easter!
噢，天啊！好了 Oh, God! Okay. Okay.
–好了，你知道吗？–凯伦 -Okay. you know What? -Karen.
可能只是保险丝断了 It's probably just a fuse.
因为有房子爆炸了，可能只是电网的问题 Because a house exploded, it could just be a problem with the grid.
对 Yeah.
也许你该去检查下保险盒，亲爱的 Maybe you should check the fuse box, honey.
–对，好的 –我留在这里 -Okay, yeah. -And I'm gonna just...
收拾东西 stay here and pack.
也许你该跟我一起去检查保险盒 Maybe you should go with me to the fuse box.
那样你就不会孤单 That way you're not alone.
好，我们走 Okay, here we go.
好，耶，耶，耶，我们走 Okay, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. There we go.
就是这里，就是这里 There it is. There it is.
好 Okay.
只是电路的问题 It was just the circuit breaker.
哇！天啊！ -It's okay. -Good Lord!
别叫，不是你们想象的那样 Don't scream. It's not what you think.
你们难道没有绑架我们的朋友，还是绑在椅子上的？ What, you didn't kidnap our friends and tie them to chairs?
没错，但那不是原因 It is what you think. But it's not for the reasons you think.
丹就是售卖MBI机密的人 Dan is the one selling secrets from MBI.
什么？ What?
–你没说错，她很厉害 –我告诉过你了 -You're right. She's very good. -Told you.
丹，那是真的吗 Dan, is that true?
你们两个怎么还活着？你们的房子都炸了 And how are you two alive? Your house exploded.
杰夫，事情不总是看上去的那样 Jeff, things aren't always what they seem.
你现在应该知道了 You should know that by now.
所以说？ So?
你怎么不告诉我你的想法？ How could you not tell me you were feeling this way?
是这样 Well, look...
说实话，要跟一个女人承认恐惧的话 To be honest, you are not exactly the easiest woman in the world
–你不是最佳人选。–什么？ -For a man to admit his fears to. -What?
你怎么能那样说，我既有同情心又很敏感 How can you say that to me? I'm compassionate and sensitive.
你可以无所不言 You can say anything to me.
用希伯来语说我是软骨头可没什么帮助 Well, calling me a pussy in Hebrew is not helping things.
跑！ Run.
你们用头撞破了玻璃窗 You dove headfirst through a plate glass window?
并不是那么硬的 It's not as hard as it seems.
想要杀你的幕后主使是谁 Who's behind all this? Who's trying to kill you?
是一个自称蝎子的国际军火商 It's an international arms dealer who calls himself The Scorpion.
情报机构已经找了他很多年 The Agency's been after him for years.
你们的这两位朋友准备卖给他这些 And your friends here were about to sell him these.
这是我们公司的产品 That's what we make at MBI?
–这些是什么？–微芯片 -What are these? -Microchips.
落入坏人手中，芯片上的信息 In the wrong hands, the information on those chips
就可以用来打击美国整个的导弹防御系统 could be used to undermine the entire U.S. missile defense system.
过去三个月，丹一直在从大楼里偷运它们出去 For the last three months, Dan's been smuggling them out of the building.
监狱走私的方式 Prison-style.
慢着，那是什么意思？ Wait. Prison-style? What do you mean?
我想就是说他把芯片装在气球里然后塞进屁眼 I think that means he put 'em in a balloon and stuck 'em up his butt.
什么 What?
噢，天啊 Oh, God!
你为什么那么做，丹 Why did you do this, Dan?
我们就要查清楚了，杰夫 That's exactly what we're about to find out, Jeff.
对 Yeah.
蒂姆 Tim!
把腿打开，小丹尼 Spread your legs, Danny boy.
琼斯太太有活要干 Mrs. Jones has some work to do.
娜塔莉… Natalie...
天啊，杰夫，杰夫，拜托，帮帮我 Jesus. Jeff. Jeff, please, do something!
除非你交代… Either you talk...
杰夫，制止她！她是变态 Jeff, stop her please! She's a psychopath!
蒂姆，我能跟你们说两句吗 Tim, can I just have a word with you guys for one second, please?
请不要伤害我 Please don't hurt me. Please.
–好，好 –把这个变态弄走，杰夫 -Okay, Okay. -get this psycho away from me, Jeff.
放松 Relax.
我们很高兴看到你们还活着 We're excited that you guys are still alive.
但这是我们的地下室，不是阿布格莱布监狱那样的地方 But this is our basement. This is not a Abu Ghraib, you know, scenario here.
–是我们孩子玩耍的地方。–我也不喜欢这样 -Our kids play down here. -I don't like it either.
可这关乎国家安全 But this is a national security situation.
可你不能靠烧他的蛋蛋就指望他能招供 Yeah, but you can't torch a man's scrotum and expect him to speak.
说不定呢 You'd be surprised.
他们是人，得跟他们沟通，好吗 These are human beings. You gotta connect with them, okay?
–让我跟他们聊两分钟吧。–他很好沟通的 -Let me talk to 'em for two minutes. -He's a people person.
你有90秒 You have 90 seconds.
好的 Okey-dokey.
好了，梅格 Okay, Meg.
丹，我要你知道 Dan, I want you to know...
就像在人力资源部，在这里我们不评判，好吗 like the HR department, this basement is a place of non-judgment, okay?
即使你窃取了公司财产 And even though you stole from the company
背叛了你的国家和死胡同 and betrayed your country and cul-de-sac,
把微芯片放进了你最黑暗的洞洞里 and, you know, placed microchips in your darkest cavity,
犯错是难免的！ mistakes happen!
噢，天啊！对他们施行水刑速战速决好吗 Oh, my God! Can we please waterboard them and get this over with?
我们生活在一个令人迷惑的时代 We live in confusing times.
我认为对错之间的界限很模糊 And I think that the lines between right and wrong become blurry.
很难听懂他的话，对吧，丹 It's hard to even know what those words mean, isn't it, Dan?
这是什么情况，你们都在扮好人吗 What is this? Good cop, good cop?
听着，我也许不清楚六楼的工作内容 Look, I might not know what's going on, on the sixth floor,
可你知道每次有员工申请加薪 but did you know that every time an employee requests a raise
都会经过人力资源部吗 it comes through the HR department?
我见过你的申请 And I've seen your requests.
我知道你过去五年的所有申请都被拒绝了 And I know that they've been denied, every time, for the last five years.
那是很长的时间，丹，你为公司做了巨大贡献 That's a lot of time, Dan. Lot of good time you gave to the company?
–你得到了多少回报？–没错 -Where's your piece of the pie? -Exactly.
你知道用一个火箭科学家的工资 You know how hard it is to raise four children
抚养四个孩子有多难吗 on a rocket scientist's salary?
噢，天啊！闭嘴，白痴！ Oh, God! Shut up, you idiot!
不！你闭嘴，麦克白夫人！ No! You shut up, Lady Macbeth!
好吧 Okay.
是你逼我这样做的，你知道吧 You're the one who pushed me into this, you know that?
都是因为你的贪得无厌！ With all your constant demands and trendy needs.
我没让你去上杰夫的电脑 I did not tell you to go on Jeff's computer
去和一个军火商交易！ and make a deal with an arms dealer!
你也没有说不 Well, you didn't tell me not to.
杰夫… Jeff...
我无计可施了 I was at the end of my rope.
财务上的压力让人抓狂，杂物开支和请家教… The financial pressure was crazy. Groceries and tutors and...
我有四个13岁以下箍牙的孩子 I got four kids under 13 in braces.
你明白吗，杰夫 Do you understand? Do you, Jeff?
我明白，你知道 I do. You know I do. I mean...
如果孩子的牙齿不整齐 if kids have crooked teeth,
在这个社会，我们得去矫正它们 we can't have crooked teeth in this society.
这里可不是英国 This isn't Great Britain, you know?
很多事情都需要花费 There's all sorts of things you have to keep up with and...
小面包车需要新轮胎、钢琴… New tires for the minivan, piano lessons,
你知道，因为这些原因 you know, and, because all that...
卡尔普龙格死了 Carl Pronger is dead!
慢着！你别冲动 Hang on! Get a hold of yourself!
我无意让任何人受到伤害的，杰夫，我发誓 I never wanted anyone to get hurt, Jeff, I swear.
我们在保护你们 We were protecting you.
蝎子都不知道你是谁，凯伦 The Scorpion doesn't even know who you are. Karen!
闭嘴，梅格！布鲁克林阁楼蠢死了 Shut up, Meg! Brooklyn Loft is stupid.
好了，这样没好处 All right, not helping.
我在哭 I'm crying.
你从哪里拿的洋葱？ Where did you get an onion?
–谁？我吗？ –对，你 -Who? Me? -Yeah, you.
从楼上的厨房拿的 I got it from upstairs. From our kitchen.
这是你的电话？是蝎子打过来的 Is this your phone? Is this the Scorpion calling?
我会接通，然后你跟他讲话 I'm gonna answer this and you're gonna talk to him.
带我们找到他 And you're gonna lead us to him.
他马上就会听出来的，你知道他的本事 He'll sniff me out in a second. You know what he's capable of.
–马上接听 –娜塔莉… -Answer the phone now. -Natalie...
别再玩花招了 No more games.
听着，我做不到，我不是间谍！我只是个会踢球的父亲 Look, I can't. I'm not a spy! I'm a soccer dad!
他一场比赛都没缺席过 He never misses a game.
噢，天啊。好吧，我来接 Oh, my God. All right, I'm gonna answer it.
不行，我们的身份暴露了，记得吗 No, we can't. Our cover was blown, remember?
嗯，我没有更好的选择 Well, I don't have a lot of options.
你想让我怎么做 What do you want me to do?
喂 Hello?
喂，雷可福磊斯先生 Hello? Mr. Rascal Flatts?
我得有个代号 I needed a cover name.
喂 Hello?
嗨 Hi!
我是雷可 Yes, this is Rascal.
你和你妻子准备好要交易了吗 Are you and your wife ready to make the deal?
是的，福磊斯太太和我为此很兴奋 Yes, Mrs. Flatts and I are very excited about it.
明晚，奥德赛酒店，九点 Tomorrow night. The Odyssey Hotel. 9:00 p.m.
去 V酒吧，会有一张桌子是为你们预订的 Go to the V-Bar. A table will be reserved for you.
带上货等着 Bring the requested item and wait.
明白，V酒吧，非常感谢 V-Bar. Okay thank you very much.
好奇地问一下，有着装要求吗 Just out of curiosity, is there a dress code?
我…我可以上网查的 I'll... I can look that up online.
好了 Okay.
我干了什么 What have I done?
噢不，你做得很好！ No, no. You did everything great! You did everything great.
–好吧 –完美 -Okay. -You did!
–真的！ –杰夫和凯伦欢迎加入 -I did. -Jeff And Karen, welcome to
性感和刺激的 the sexy and exciting world
国际间谍秘密行动 of international espionage and covert operations.
伙计，我想是时候给你弄一套合适的行头了 Buddy, I think it's time we get you in a proper suit.
好极了！这是加大的中号吗 Nice! Is it an extra medium?
一套惊艳的礼服 A killer dress.
这么少的布 That's all of it?
领带里面有个微型麦克风 This tie has been fitted with a miniature surveillance mic.
探测不到的 It's completely undetectable.
我穿上这双鞋还能走路不 I don't know if I can walk in these.
鞋跟里装了跟踪装置 The heel is equipped with a tracking device
我们可以监测到你的每一步 that allows us to monitor your every move.
娜塔莉和我会在楼顶占好一个位置 Natalie and I will secure a position right upstairs on the roof.
建立一个指挥中心 And establish a command center.
你知道你总得穿上裤子的吧 Now, you know at some point, you're gonna have to put on pants.
我知道，我只是还在紧张中 Yeah. I know. I'm just nervous still.
会没事的 It's gonna be okay.
这是个简单的任务 Simple in and out job.
完成交易，离开酒店 Make the exchange, leave the hotel.
进去，出来。好奇地问一句 Got it. In and out. Just out of curiosity,
最坏的结果是什么 what happens, you know, worst-case scenario?
最坏的结果 Worst-case scenario?
我们呼叫后援，美国政府 We radio for backup, and we storm the place
用重兵攻占那个地方 with the full force of the United States government.
好，明白 Okay. Got it.
–好了？ –好了 -Okay? -Yeah.
你看上去很精神，别忘了穿上裤子 You look good. Don't forget those pants.
奥德赛酒店
这让我想起我们首次约会 Reminds me of our first date.
还有第二次约会 And our second.
怎么了 What's wrong?
我们上次没谈完，对吧 We never really did finish that conversation, did we?
那是因为房子爆炸了 Well, the house did explode.
所以 So...
听着，我只想让你知道，昨晚当我准备 Look, I just want you to know I realized something last night
烧丹的蛋蛋时，我意识到一些事 when I was about to fry Dan's testicles.
我知道我不是最佳的聆听者 I know I'm not the best listener,
但我可以改变 but I can change.
怎么？你觉得我不行 What? You don't think I can?
不，不，不，我知道你行 No, no, no. I know you can.
就是别改变太多，好吗 Just don't change too much, okay?
好 Okay.
亲爱的，你准备好了吗，你在干什么 Honey, are you ready? What are you doing?
我只是在听雷可福磊斯 I was just listening to some Rascal Flatts.
–想要进入状态。–噢，天啊 -Trying to get into character. -Oh, God!
帕特里克把玩具扔在楼梯上 Patrick leaves these toys on the stairs.
–有人可能因此受伤的。–凯伦 -Somebody's gonna hurt themselves. -Karen!
怎么，喜欢吗，是不是太暴露 What? Do you like it? Is it too much?
不！不会，刚刚好 No! Not at all. It's just enough.
谢了，亲爱的 Thanks, honey.
这是你那天穿的内衣吗 Is this the lingerie you were wearing the other day?
是的，我们要做就得做好 Yeah, I figured if we're gonna do this, I should do it right.
对 Yeah.
–你看上去很帅。–非常感谢 -you look So handsome. -Thank you very much.
我们得在多久后赶到酒店 How much time until we have to be at the hotel?
45分钟 We've got 45 minutes.
–凯伦，凯伦。 –杰夫 -Karen. Karen. -Jeff,
你的领带卡住了 your tie's stuck.
–凯伦！–抱歉，亲爱的 -Karen! -Sorry, honey.
怎么了 What?
我认为他们在做爱 I think they're having sex.
见鬼，我们没时间了 Goddamn it, we don't have time for this.
他们得在45分钟内赶到的 I mean, they're supposed to be here in 45 minutes.
没事，结束了 Nope, they are done.
好 All right.
哇！看，亲爱的，好漂亮的设计！ Wow! Look, honey. Beautiful design!
–嘿，凯伦 –怎么 -Hey, Karen. -Yeah?
多谢你跟我做爱 Thanks so much for the sex.
走 Go.
你好 Hello!
–嗨 –嗨。我们预定了两个人 -Hi. -Hi. we have a reservation For two
名字是雷可福磊斯 under the name Rascal Flatts.
那不是我们的真名 It's not our real name.
我们在偷情 We're having an affair.
跟我来 Come with me.
嘿，蒂姆，我们在餐厅里了，一切顺利 Hey, Tim. We're in the restaurant right now. Everything's going okay.
亲爱的，寿司 Honey, sushi.
这里还有寿司，我先不说了 There's sushi as well. I'm gonna sign off for right now.
再见 Ciao.
已预订
–那是我们的桌子！–不，这边请 -That's our table. -No, this way.
真的 Really?
非常感谢 Thank you so much.
这是排队上男厕所吗 Is this the line to the little boys' room?
–我不用去。–来 -I don't need to use it. -Come.
我有点迷惑，这是不是… I'm confused. I...
我还以为就我们几个人呢 It's part of the... I thought it was just gonna be us.
你们是蝎子的人 You fellas with The Scorpion?
好了，他们在行进中 All right, they're on the move.
准备就位 Moving into position.
谢谢 Thank you.
你总算来了，雷可福磊斯 There he is. Rascal Flatts.
找到这里不难吧 You have any trouble finding the place?
不，你的亲信非常…我那里有点怕痒 No. Your henchmen were very... I'm a little ticklish there.
你的亲信非常乐于助人 Your henchmen were very helpful.
这位是你妻子，哇！你们今晚是盛装出席 This must be the wife. Wow! You guys really dressed up for tonight.
谢谢，我们一般不出来应酬 Thank you. Yeah. Well, we don't get out very often.
所以我们一出来就会很隆重 When we do, we really like to make the most of it.
很好，艾凡？ Awesome. Ivan?
都检查过了 All clear.
抱歉搜你们的身。我们这一行千万得小心 Sorry about the frisking. You cannot be too careful in my line of work.
让我补偿一下你们 Let me make it up to you
请享用这昂贵的、美味的香槟 with some very expensive, very delicious champagne.
哇！看看这把枪 Wow! Look at that gun.
对了 And by the way,
你们得尝尝这东西，棒极了 you two have gotta try this dip. It's amazing.
今天我大开食戒，订了很多酒食 It's a cheat day for me, so I went a little crazy with room service.
希望你们不会介意 I hope you don't mind.
福磊斯太太做的七层点心很棒 Mrs. Flatts makes a great seven-layer dip. I'll tell you that.
是这样的 I bet she does.
没错，秘诀是多加一层，八层点心 I do. The secret is an extra layer. An eight-layer dip.
狡猾！我很喜欢 Sneaky! I love that.
我见过你吗 Do I know you from somewhere?
我觉得不可能 I seriously doubt it.
他喜欢跟人沟通 He's a people person.
拜托，杰夫，冷静。按我们说好的做 Come on, Jeff. Stay calm. Just do what we talked about.
你这个有人缘的人给我带了微芯片吗？ Well, did the people person bring this person his computer chips?
对，对，对，就在这里面 Yes. Yes, yes. You'll find them right here.
小心点 Careful.
丹佛，2010年 Denver, 2010.
你参加了全国航天展会 Were you at the National Aerospace Convention?
我觉得我们在同一个焦点小组里 Because I think we were in the same focus group.
你还要说这个 Are we still doing this?
不，不说了，真的说完了 No, we're n-- it's done. It's really done. It's so done.
他为什么一直要问那些问题 Why does he keep asking those questions?
我觉得他忍不住，他的人就是那样 I don't think he can help it. It's just what he does.
他喜欢跟人讲话 He connects with people.
–很好，跟承诺的一样 –糟糕 -Perfect, as promised. -Shit.
艾凡 Ivan?
好了，钱拿到了，谢谢 Okay. Here we go. Thank you.
–好！拿到了，很好 –对，没问题 -Okay!We got it. Great. -Yeah. That checks out.
很荣幸跟你们合作 Well, pleasure doing business with both of you.
谢谢你们，蝎子先生和朋友们 Thank you, Mr. Scorpion and friends.
谢谢，好了。拿回我的东西 Thank you. Yeah. Okay. Grab that stuff.
嘿！你的球掉了 Hey! You drop your little ball.
没关系，我还有很多 That's fine. We have... I have plenty of those.
你留着吧 Keep it. Keep it. It's a...
–借过。–站住 -Excuse me. -Stop!
你是那个人力资源部的 You're the HR guy.
不，他不是，他是工程师，福磊斯博士 No, he's not. He's an engineer. He... Dr. Flatts.
–对，我专攻火箭科学。–他读过大学 -Yeah, I'm in the rocket sciences. -He went to college!
–他很聪明，麻省理工。–不 -He's very smart. MIT. -No.
不，你说得对 No. You were right.
我们的确见过 We have met before.
2002-2005年，我是MBI一个可有可无的中层 See from '02 to '05, I was a mid-level drone at MBI.
–你是杰夫加弗内 –不是 -And you are Jeff Gaffney. -No.
–人力资源部的 –错了 -Human Resources. -Wrong.
没错，你因为我的“自杀性抑郁”而帮过我 Yeah. You helped me with my "suicidal depression."
用你的信任把戏和压力球 With your little trust exercises and stress balls!
这一切都是陷阱 This entire thing is a setup!
该死，杰夫 Goddamn it, Jeff!
诱饵身份暴露，重复，诱饵身份暴露 Decoys have been made. I repeat, decoys have been made.
我们需要营救，收到没 We need to extract. Do you copy?
卡洛斯，带队去封锁走廊 Carlos, take a team out, lock the hallway down.
尤瑞，带四个人走楼梯上楼顶 Yuri, take four guys up the stairwell to the roof.
叫直升机，我们离开这里 Radio the helicopter, we are getting the hell out of here.
我们需要后援以营救诱饵，收到没 We need backup to extract the decoys. Do you copy?
不行，附带损害 Negative. Collateral damage.
我们不能在公共区域行动。离开，放弃任务 We cannot engage in a public arena. Pull back and abort.
你收到了吗 Do you copy?
琼斯，你收到了吗 Jones, do you copy?
博瑞斯，去拿几个冰铲和一个打火机来 Boris, get some ice tongs and a cigarette lighter.
该死，琼斯，你收到了吗 Goddamn it, Jones. Do you copy?
收到，收到。撤退，重复一次，撤退 Copy, copy. Pulling out. I repeat, pulling out.
我们在集合点见 We'll meet you at the extraction point.
你真的想扔下他们不管 You really wanna just leave them in there?
当然不 Of course not.
他们是我们的邻居 They're our neighbors.
亲爱的，没事的，好吗 Sweetie, everything's fine, okay?
我雇佣额外的亲信，就是为了应付这样的情况 That's why I rent the extra henchmen, for situations like this.
–是彼得吗？不。–所以我才把 -Is it Peter? No. -That's why I paid
–整层都包了下来。–亲爱的，你在做什么 -For the whole floor. -Honey, What are you doing?
–我在想他的名字。–从直升机转到喷气式客机 -I'm trying to figure out his name. -Chopper to the jet.
我们明天早上就到雅加达了 We'll be in Jakarta by morning,
–我们到了以后… –布鲁斯 -And when we get there, I-- -Bruce.
你在跟我说 You talking to me?
我想起你的名字了，你叫布鲁斯 I remember your name. Your name is Bruce.
布鲁斯史普林斯泰恩 Bruce Springstine.
不，我想你认错人了 I... No, I think you have me confused with somebody else.
是我处理你的停车位纠纷的 Nah, I'm the one that mediated your parking space dispute.
那就是你投身犯罪生活的原因吗 Is that what caused you to go into a life of crime?
因为一个破停车位而伤了自尊 A bruised ego over a lousy parking space?
天啊！这是什么？业余表演会吗 Jesus Christ! What is this? Amateur night?
慢着 Wait a second.
你叫布鲁斯史普林斯泰恩 Your name is Bruce Springstine?
是的，艾凡，是布鲁斯史普林斯泰恩 Yes, Ivan, it is. It's Bruce Springstine
那是一个好名字，没什么不妥的 and it's a perfectly good name like any other name.
你想让我们叫你“大老板” And you wanted us to call you The Boss?
我不想你们叫我“大老板” I didn't want you guys to call me "The Boss."
我想你们叫我“老板” I wanted you to call me, "Boss."
好吗？为了简单起见，好吗 All right? And that's just for simplicity's sake. Okay?
真可悲 That's just sad.
停车位的事不公平，好吗 And that parking space thing was bullshit, all right?
我在公司三年了！他们还让我停在D区 I'd been there for three years! They still had me in Lot D!
那是高速公路的另一边，好吗 That's the other side of the highway, okay?
我得走过… I had to cross the...
–人行桥，对！–是的，人行桥 -The footbridge thing. Yeah! -The little... The footbridge!
人行桥，每天 A footbridge, every day,
不管晴雨 rain or shine!
谢谢你 So, thank you.
–我会很享受这个的。–好的 -I am really going to enjoy this. -Okay.
别、别、别、别、别！不！ -Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! -No!
耶，特种部队来了 Good. SEAL team's here.
走，走，快趴下，趴下 Go, go, go! Get down, get down, get down!
伙计们！快！震住他们 Go, boys! Go, go, go! Shock and awe! Shock and awe!
亲爱的，我什么都听不见 Honey, I can't hear anything.
他们是无声杀手，本拉登就是这样被干掉的 They're silent killers. That's how they got Bin Laden.
–我们别起来，好吗？–好的 -Let's just stay down, okay? -Okay.
后援呢？那些是他的人 Where's the backup? Those guys are with him.
没有后援了，杰夫 There's no backup, Jeff.
你的身份暴露之后，他们就撤了 They pulled out when you blew your cover.
什么意思，没有后援？ What do you mean there's no backup?
你是他们所说的“附带损害” You're what they call "collateral damage."
那可不好，我在《国土安全》里看过！ That's not good. I saw it on Homeland!
你可没提过什么附带损害！ What do you me-- You didn't say anything about collateral damage!
我问你最坏的结果，你说 I asked you about the worst-case scenario and you said,
“最坏的结果是我呼叫后援” Well, the worst-case scenario, I'll have backup.
现在的结果更坏！这比最坏的结果还要坏 Well, this is worse! This is worse than the worst-case scenario.
你当着我们的面撒谎 You lied to our faces.
我没有对你们撒谎，我只是省略了一些关键信息 I did not lie to you. Now, I may have left out a few key details...
那就是谎言，蒂姆！ That's a lie, Timothy!
那是标准的遗漏式谎言 That is lying by omission. That's textbook--
你知道吗？我的工作都是谎言，所以我恨它！ You know what? My whole job is lying. Okay? That's why I fucking hate it!
–抱歉，杰夫。–你对他道歉 -I'm sorry, Jeff. -You're apologizing to him?
你不会关心这个失败者吧 You can't possibly care about this loser.
你知道什么，我的确关心这个失败者 You know what? I actually do care about this loser.
你和我生活在这个人人撒谎的世界里 I mean, you and I live in a world where everybody lies.
所有人隐藏真相、蒙蔽误导 And everybody hides everything and obfuscates.
可杰夫加弗内不是 But, not... Not Jeff Gaffney.
杰夫没有生活在那个世界，他是个诚实的人 Jeff doesn't live in that world. He's an honest person.
他直率、友善，是一个好邻居 He's forthright, he's friendly. He's a good neighbor.
你们知道那得需要多大的勇气吗，真正的勇气 Do you have any idea how much courage that takes? Real courage?
在我看来，他是这里最勇敢的人 For my money, he's the bravest guy in this room.
–噢，拜托，别假道义了！–嘿 -Please. Spare me the morality! -Hey!
听我说完，好吗 Just hear me out, all right?
听着，加弗内夫妇不属于这个世界 Look, the Gaffneys, they don't belong in our world.
的确，我们真的不属于这个世界 We don't. We really don't.
好吗？他们为人太好了 Okay? They're too good for that.
让他们回到属于他们的世界吧 Why don't we let them go back to their world?
你和我就可以 And then you and I, we,
在我们的世界里 can settle this here?
解决这个问题 Here in our world.
你们可以相互厮杀，别把我们扯进来 You guys can go murder each other and stuff. Just leave us out of this.
我自己来解决这个问题吧，布鲁诺 You know what? I'm just gonna take care of everything myself. Bruno,
把塑料布铺上，我不想赔掉押金 lay the plastic sheeting out. I don't wanna lose the security deposit.
–慢着！慢着！ –不要打断我好吗 -Wait a minute! Wait a minute! -Can I finish a thought today?
抱歉，蝎子先生 I'm so sorry, Mr. Scorpion.
可是，娜塔莉 But, Natalie,
自从我们一起试过内衣后 ever since we tried on underwear together...
抱歉，你在对她讲 I'm sorry. You talking to her?
请继续 Finish your thought.
我意识到一些东西 I realized something.
我也生活在谎言中 I've been living a lie, also.
凯伦！ Karen!
我的生活怎么了 What is happening to my life?
噢，天啊！你生活在那个谎言中有多久了 Oh, my God! How long have you been living that lie?
亲爱的！什么？不！ Honey! What? No!
那不是真的，我只是得想办法把刀递给她 I didn't mean it. I just had to get the knife to her somehow!
噢，我懂了，天啊！谢天谢地！会没事的 Okay! I get it now. God! Thank God! Okay, it's gonna be okay.
到处都是死人 It's raining men!
你们没事吧 You guys okay?
拿上芯片跟我们走，快，走 Grab the chips and follow us. Come on, let's go.
–直升机在那。–干掉他们 -Chopper's ready. -Yeah, get 'em.
把芯片抢过来 And get the chips!
撤退！撤退！快 Get back, get back, get back!
–我快没子弹了！–我也是 -I'm almost out. -Me too.
我们该怎么办 What are we gonna do?
–我们得跳下去。–跳？从哪里跳 -We'll have to jump for it. -Jump? Jump from where?
那边 Down there.
下面有个游泳池 There's a pool down below.
那是我们唯一的希望 It's our only chance.
你们有仔细考虑过吗 Did you think any of this through?
好吧 Okay.
哇！你去哪里 Where are you going?
杰夫？杰夫 Jeff? Jeff!
杰夫！你没事吧？ Jeff. Jeff are you okay?
–我刚放屁了。–伙计！ -I just farted. -Buddy!
你不能那样跳窗户 You can't jump through the window like that.
那是三层玻璃板！你得先弄破它才行 That's triple pane glass! You gotta break it first.
谢谢你的努力 Appreciate the effort though.
退后，大伙退后，都退后 Scoot back, everybody, all right? Just scoot back.
让开 Get out of the way.
不会吧 Really?
让开 Stand back!
什么 What?
你的枪哪里来的 Where'd you get that?
从一个死人那里捡的 I picked it up off a dead guy.
–他不需要了 –跑！跳窗 -I thought he didn't need it. -Run! Out of the window!
好的，我们要跳了，快！ All right. Come on. We're doing this. Let's go!
快！快！跳…跳！ -Now! Now! -Jump! Jump! Jump!
没事，各位！没事的 It's okay, everybody. It's okay.
杰夫呢 Where's Jeff?
伙计们，杰夫呢 Guys, where's Jeff?
杰夫！杰夫！你得… Jeff! Jeff, you've gotta...
–杰夫，你得跳下来！ –杰夫！ -Jeff, you've gotta jump! -Jeff!
等我一会 Give me a second.
–快跳 –杰夫，你得跳了！ -Jeff, jump! Please! -Just run and jump!
太完美了 This is perfect.
你真是个眼中钉，杰夫 You've been a pain in my ass all day, Jeff.
好了…蝎子先生… Okay, li... Bru... Mr. Scorpion,
我们的生命中有很多选择 we all make choices in life and I...
我保证，我不是在评判你 I'm not being judgmental, I promise you,
可你真的认为暴力是解决办法？其实… but do you really think that violence is the solution? There's this exer--
摔死你 He's all yours, gravity.
叫你不要惹… And that's why you don't sting the...
总有后备方案 Always have plan B.
我知道那看起来要高很多 I know it seemed a lot higher.
非常感谢，给你 Thank you very much. That's for you. Keep it all.
也许你可以把那录下来放到网上 Maybe you could videotape that and put it online.
会获得大量点击！ Where did you get the gun from?
不，我们不会上传任何东西到网上 No. I don't think we're gonna keep any of that online.
那会获得很多点击 That would get a lot of hits.
我重新剪辑过 And I lined it up, and smashed.
因为有枪战 Because there's shooting...
最好还是低调点 Probably wanna keep it a little on the down low.
对，当然 Yes. Of course. Yeah, no, no, of course. Yes. Yes.
我只是说说而已 I'm just saying.
我很为你们而骄傲 I'm so proud of you guys.
–你们想进来吗？ –进来吧 -you guys wanna Come inside? -Yeah, Come in.
你们晚上睡哪里 Where are you guys staying?
–你们可以住我们家！ –对 -You could stay with us! -Stay with us!
怎么不住我们家呢？我们有沙发床 Why wouldn't you stay with us? We have a pull-out couch.
你还可以借用我的内裤，如果你需要打发时间 You can borrow some of my boxer briefs if you need anything to lounge in.
–我有Wii –我们有大屏幕电视 -I've got a Wii. -We've got a flat screen TV!
我们有免费无线网 We have free Wi-Fi.
–你们太好了！真的 –你们真是好心 -You guys are great! Really. -It's very nice of you to offer.
不过… But...
我们的车来了 Our ride is coming.
噢，对，你们有事情要做 Yeah. Yeah. You got your things you have to do.
你们的任务 Your missions.
那是优步吗 Is that an Uber?
算是吧 Sort of.
拥抱 Hug?
–就拥抱一下？ –就拥抱一下 -just a hug? -just a hug.
谢谢你，你是个很棒的女人 Thank you. You're an amazing woman.
谢谢你 Thank you.
你为自己创造了美好的生活，杰夫 You made an incredible life for yourself here, Jeff.
记得时不时从死胡同走出去就好了 Just remember to leave the cul-de-sac, every now and again.
你会很惊讶于你能发现的东西 You'd be surprised at what you find out there.
我们会记得的 We'll remember.
–该走了 –对 -Time to go. -yes.
司机呢 Where's the driver?
在这里 Right here.
车里没有司机 There's no driver in the car.
如果有人朝我们开枪，就得我来开车 If they're shooting at us, I get to drive.
现在你就想开车了 Now you wanna drive.
我明白了 I see how it works.
好车就得你来开 You get to drive the good car.
再见，两位！ Bye, you guys!
好了 Okay.
明天是夏令营的父母日 You know, it's Parents Day at the camp tomorrow.
夏天过后
哈希姆咖啡馆
我要把这张传到脸书上，继续吸 This is going straight to Facebook. Keep sucking!
–很好！–味道怎么样？ -That's good. -What does it taste like?
像麦克的袜子 It tastes like Mikey's sock.
不过不是贬义，来，试试 But I mean that in a good way. Here, try it.
我想麦克的小脚和袜子了 I miss Mikey's little feet and his socks.
好，拿来 Yeah. Here.
准备好了吗 Okay, ready?
噢，天啊！呛死我了 Oh, God! That really hurt.
怎么了 What?
噢，天啊！ Oh, my God!
–两位！ –娜塔莉！蒂姆！ -Guys! -Natalie! Tim!
真巧啊 You've gotta be kidding me!
不会吧 What?
–我能拿走吗 –不是吧 -can I take this? -are you kidding Me?
因为你们我们才来这里 We are here because of you.
你们跟我们说过这个地方 You told us about this place
所以我们就来了 and that's why we came!
你们来马拉喀什了 You are here. In Marrakesh.
–记忆力真好，哇 –太棒了 -That's a good memory. Wow. -Amazing!
–什么？–太棒了 -What? -That's amazing.
–我的天 –你们生了个宝宝 -My God. -You have a baby!
–是的，他刚睡着 –他刚睡着 -Yes, he just fell asleep. -he just fell asleep.
你们生了个孩子？好样的 You had a baby? You old dogs!
就是说你们离开情报机构了 Does that mean you guys left the agency?
–是啊，这说来… –嗯… -Well, yeah. It's a very... -Well...
–…话长 –说来话长 -Yeah? -Long story.
不过我们现在没法详谈 But we can't really get into it right now.
但是见到你们很高兴 But, it's good to see you!
杰夫，帮个忙，你往右边 Jeff, do me a big favor? Will you just...
–挪一下好吗？–没问题 -scoot a little bit to your right? -Yeah. Sure thing.
谢谢 Thank you!
我太吃惊了，伙计们，这… I am blown away, you guys. This is un--
杰夫，你现在别转身 Jeff, I don't want you to turn around right now,
在你身后有四个戴毡帽的人… but there are four guys in fezzes behind you on the...
杰夫，我刚叫你不要转身 Jeff, I just said don't turn around.
杰夫，我明确叫你不要转身的 Jeff, I just specifically asked you not to turn around.
我知道，可你说我身后有四个戴毡帽的人 I know but you said there are four guys in fezzes behind me.
我们在摩洛哥，这里多的是毡帽 We're in Morocco. There's a lot of fezzes.
可这很自然啊，转过身去 But it's human nature, I think, to turn around
看看后面，不是吗 to something like that. Don't you think?
亲爱的，我们又把他们暴露了 Honey. We blew their cover again.
–没有 –什么 -No!No. -What?
–我们该喂孩子了 –对，我们该喂孩子了 -we should feed the baby? -I think we should feed the baby.
–你能把瓶子递过来… –他们暴露了吗 -If you can just pass me the bottle... -we blew their cover?
–那就太好了。–该死 -...that would be great. -Darn it.
–你能帮我拿一下袋子吗？–你能帮忙抱一下宝宝吗？ -can you hold this bag For Me? -do you mind holding the baby?
不要惊慌，只是个宝宝 Before you freak out, it's just a baby.
–好吗，别担心–孩子挺好的！我这里有照片 -All right? Don't worry. -Kids are great! I have pictures.
–凯伦，你…–别担心 -Karen, how do you get-- -I'll tell you what.
放在这里，给我看看 Just put it in here and show me.
看到我的处境了吧 Kind of see what I'm dealing with.
是，我明白了 Okay. I see now.
哈，明白了吧 Okay? See what that is?
–没事，亲爱的。–听着，我要你深呼吸 -It's okay, honey. -I need you to breathe.
–你可以的 –好吧？你以前做过 -You can do it. -You've done this before.
数到三，你就趴下找掩护，好吗 On three, I want you to get down, and take cover. Okay?
一 One
二 Two
天啊，杰夫！大家都趴下，快 Jesus, Jeff! Everybody down, right now.
–我想死他们了 –我也是 -I miss those guys. -me too.